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Mom has dementia and is restless at night sometimes. She is a fall risk because she doesn't use her walker (she's a fall risk even with her walker).
She occasionally wakes up at night and gets out of bed to sit in her living room (she has her own space that includes a sleeping area and a living room area, uses the guest bathroom and eats meals with us).


Her bed has rails but she climbs out the bottom of the bed. I have a bed alarm on her but sometimes I can't get to her in time to stop her from getting up, and if I tried, there would probably be an unpleasant conversation. I work from home full time and sometimes I'm so tired from caring for her that I have trouble concentrating.


She figured out how to take her bed alarm off the other night and was sitting in the dark at the dining room table when I got up. When I turned on the light she politely introduced herself and asked if I knew where she was. It didn't take long for her to remember who I was and took a little longer than that to realize that she lives with us.


Assisted living or living in memory care is not an option. Moving her to my sibling who would take her in is an option but with her stage of dementia I think it would be detrimental to her heath and they would have the same dilemma.


So, my question is, when she gets up at night, what should I do? She is not a wanderer.

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Accept that falls will happen, no matter what you do to prevent them and sometimes with you right there. Talk to her doctor to see if he/she has suggestions for better overnight sleep or if there are medication options to help. Know that wandering may be added at any time, so prepare as best you can now. And I’m sorry to say you’re going to be so very tired with two full time jobs, care for your health so you can stand up to the challenge. I wish you well
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daddysfavorite Jan 2021
thank you. So many on this forum seem to think medicating a loved one is the easy way out, so I appreciate your support. Blessings to you.
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You say you have bed rails. To me this indicates you may have a Hospital bed that can be raised and lowered.
Lower the bed as far down as it will go. Place a mattress or other padding on the floor.
If she gets out of bed she will be close to the floor and can not "fall" out of bed. As a matter of fact she may have difficulty standing up. So if she does get out of bed and if you are not able to help her up this option would probably not work.
Be aware that no matter what precautions you take she will probably fall at some point. Waking up and being groggy can make you a bit more unsteady so be aware of that if you try any sleep aids.
You might want to change the lights in her room to motion sensor lights so that if she does get up the lights will come on. That would at least make it easier for her to see. Changing lights in the rooms she would go into to motion lights would help as well.
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Falls do happen so as long as you are providing a safe environment, there's not much else you can do.

I'm not sure what you mean "what should I do"? Take her back to her bedroom?

If you are burnt out and your sibling will take her in, I would go for it. It might be confusing for her, but she's probably some level of confused already. Maybe a break from caregiving would be a good thing for you. Or can your sibling come stay at your place for a few days/a week so you can get some time away? Then mom would be in her familiar surroundings.

It's pretty hard to make someone stay in bed. A lot of people suggest meds because with dementia, it is impossible for the person to understand and remember what they have been asked to do, etc.
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I am not really sure how far your mom is with her dementia
Would a senior alarm clock help her to stay in bed cause she sees it’s night?
Would she take your word if you tell her to go back to bed cause it’s night?

Does she has medications for a good night sleep? Sleeping more in daytime lately so at night awake?

You really need to take care of yourself though cause you work a lot and need your nights of sleep to function and decompress yourself.

Is there a possibility to get help a few times a week?
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If she's getting up anyway you need to make the environment as safe for her as possible. Get rid of the bed rails, they are only providing an obstacle that makes an accident more likely to happen. Replace them with a bed assist rail that can offer her stability as she gets in and out.
Get motion sensor lights, night lights or leave dimmers on low for regular lighting so that she isn't stumbling around in the dark.
If she can't remember her walker then install railings down long hallways and grab bars in other likely fall locations.
She may not have ever wandered off before but you never know when she might so take precautions against her leaving the house, a simple night latch installed above her reach and/or inexpensive door alarms.
An Alzheimer's clock that helps those with dementia discern whether it is day or night might help,
or snacks and a drink near her bed and access to a radio or TV may encourage her to remain in her room,
or provide a bedside commode if she's getting up for that reason.
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