My father has been in assisted living now and it has been the best thing for him and my family. Almost all of the staff is caring and competent but there's one staff member who has a bad attitude. When asked for assistance they become bothered, like we interrupted their vacation or something. I would think that sooner or later this person will no longer work there but what is the best thing to do about this?
Nothing is perfect. Most of us have witnessed that no matter what type of business it is, there are always people who are hustling and others that will drag their feet.
There will always be issues to address. If these are minor, then consider yourself lucky!
When you complain do so in a professional manner. Show appreciation for the great help that your father is blessed with.
You never know. You might get the answer--there is another staff member who's been MIA coming back from lunch; what you are asking is a task another level of staff is assigned to, or she's been yelled at by her boss.
During your next care meeting, ask the supervisor about what's going on. "X seems really unhappy about doing stuff we request. Are we not supposed to ask her to do that?".
Having a "bad attitude" isn't the same as someone who is making med mistakes or refusing to do stuff.
If you want to try to manipulate this person understand you are going to have to play a role. The role is "poor you" and how lucky you and Dad are to have HER there, because you hear she's very competent, and you depend upon her and blah and blah.
Yeah. Right. It is unlikely to work. But worth a last ditch effort in the interest of your Dad.
First, I would like to know what you asked for. And if ur complaint is valid, you go to the RN.* And you ask if there was something wrong in what u asked for? If she says no, then say "I was given the impression it was" Even if yes "oh, sorry, I thought maybe it was because of the look I got" You can get ur point across without xomplaining.
But , Lisa, you do tend to take offense easily. So I may just let it go. If it continues though, I might say something.
*I say RN because like anywhere there is a chain of command. In an AL and MC the RN oversees the aides so your complaint goes to her first. If you still have a problem with an aide and feel the RN is doing nothing, you speak to the Administrator. In LTC, the aid answers to the LPN, LPN to the RN and the RN to the DON. DON oversees them all. But you go by chain of command.
I have a feeling the aide you mention may have an issue with YOU rather than your father which is the "attitude" you reference her having. Next time dad needs pain meds, have HIM ask for them rather than you and see how it goes.
If not to your liking, report her to the Executive Director and try to get her fired. You may feel that's the "best thing to do about this" person who's not performing her job to your satisfaction.
Do you greet them when you see them in the hall? Do you say goodmorning, afternoon or evening? when you leave do you say good buye and thank you (even if they have done nothing for you or dad today? )
The old adage you catch more flies with honey than vinegar is spot on when dealing with people.
All that said...
If this is an openly hostile attitude or one where this person flat out refuses to help your dad then a mention of this situation to her/his supervisor might be in order.
Is this aide assigned to Dad? Aides can't give medication, only a Medtech, LPN and RN can give meds. Yes, she could have said "I don't do meds but I will tell the person who does"
Find out what the Aides responsibilities to Dad are. Can't complain about laundry because Aides don't do it. Can't complain about the room being dirty to an aide, housekeeping does that.
I like what people suggest. Aides can be ur friend. Better have them on ur side than not.
I understand why you and others would suggest bringing in homemade cookies and and becoming a friend that the care staff can turn to for encouragement and help.
However, I think it is absolutely ridiculous. Huge amounts of money are paid for every single resident who is living in a NH, AL, or staying in a rehab facility.
These places are staffed. The workers are paid employees. They are not volunteers giving of their time and skill. They are paid employees.
I never saw any reason for the family of a client in my care either in the home or the AL to kiss up to me or any employee for that matter to do our paid jobs.
People should be courteous and respectful when dealing with the staff of their LO's care facility or with the homecare worker that provides care to them.
No one should think that they need to bring in homemade cookies and gifts for the staff in a care facility or for the homecare worker. A client or resident's family does not have to become a friend who encourages and helps staff members to do the job they were hired for and being paid to do.
Believe me, anyone under my care or on my service was well cared for. I treated everyone the same. The resident's family who greases the workers with cookies and gifts received the same care from me as the resident or client who got no visitors family or otherwise.
What happened to people just having a good work ethic? That alone should guarantee decent care to a resident in a facility or someone on homecare service.
If it does not then an employee should be dismissed immediately. If they work for me they are.
There is more than one approach you can take with this aide. I think your brother should be the one who handles the problem with the aide and not you. You mean well but will likely though I'm sure unintentionally, blow up the problem unnecessarily and it will make your father's in the AL hard. Please let your brother handle it.
One way to handle what's going on is to ask this aide plainly but respectfully what her problem is. She may need it explained to her that the residents pay huge money to be in the AL even if the people who sign her paycheck aren't offering fair wages for fair work. That issue is not the residents' fault or decision so she should take her grievances up with the people who are responsible.
Or, the aide supervisor can be spoken to and let them handle it. Depending on the person, they will force her to clean up her attitude or she will be let go.
Please let your brother handle it though. Be friendly and nice to all the staff. The same as you'd be to anyone. Be regularly seen at the AL too so they know there's someone in your father's corner and that he isn't alone.
1 - Talk to the person (usually a nurse tech or aide) directly, first. Ask how he/she would prefer you make requests for assistance.
2 - Ask the nurse responsible for his care. He or she is responsible for your loved one's overall care on his/her shift.
3 - Ask to speak to the nurse in charge of the facility. This person is responsible for your loved one's care while in the facility.
4 - Letter of complaint to the facility. This letter should include name of problem person, dates of difficult behavior, and dates and names of all people you contacted to address this issue. Usually at this point, somebody's job may be at risk. consider if this is worth somebody becoming unemployed versus continued poor attitude.
* Befriend her as is possible. (Ask her how her day is going. How her kids are doing (if you know her that well, which you probably do not.)
While s/he may be snippy, she is likely a combination of tired, over worked, have kids/outside serious issues/challenges. This is not an excuse to provide 'poor' or inadequate aid service at a facility.
- Many caregivers cannot get / find other work due to English being a second language. They may not really like or want to do what they are doing.
* Track behaviors with date and time, and, of course, discuss with the department supervisor / manager.
- Ask if she (the manager) knows what is going on.
- What steps will s/he take to rectify the situation (if any).
- If this doesn't do any good, go to the administrator.
This is likely a very common occurrence (from my experience).
Many facilities are in need of employees if not somewhat desperate for staff. Some nursing homes work with agencies that hire from out-of-state (traveling CNAs or aides). The shortage is that bad / difficult. These folks are put up in a hotel close by ... for months at a time.
Some people are truly gifted working with loved ones in nursing homes / facilities / senior housing developments; others are not. You do what you can. You might consider, as is possible, during her shifts to get a private caregiver in there 2-3 hours to check in on your dad. I know that her shift might change although this might be a partial solution for you to feel better.
Gena / Touch Matters