They only come to visit and they sit with grandma the whole time talking about me like I am not there. They like to tell me I need to do this more and that more. When grandma asks for a glass of water they come out of their way to come and get me to get it when I am getting ready for work. They don't want to help but they want to tell me to do more and whispers in grandma's ears to yell at me to do more when they are unemployed and I am her caregiver and work full time. When the aunts are over they criticize me and it's happy go lucky with the other grandchildren and they don't ask them for help. I have to cook and clean and host the family gatherings and they don't want to stay to help. It's like they are sitting in a circle taking turns finding things I did not do. Now that I left one granddaughter only has to stay one night and she's praised as the hero and I am told I need to help out more. They call her strong for handling it vs me but I made it clear I was doing it 24/7 with the family yelling at me and I was working cleaning, yard work, handing work, electrical work and had to sweep the roof. Plus, I was doing it for close to a year before I left and it's only been two weeks for her.
Actually, this is a life lesson. This happens in the workforce too. They find you can do the work and they pile more and more onto you. When u have had enough and quit, they have to hire 2 people to do your job.
These things you say you "have" to do, are not really have to's. You are allowing yourself to feel like your lovely family pushing you and expecting you to do things means you have to. BUT no, you can draw some lines in the sand, some boundaries and do not do what you do not want to do anymore.
I'm not saying it will be easy but it's gotta be done.
Now, I see that you did leave! Whoops, Well good for you. I pity the one who took your place since I'm sure she'll be getting the same lovely treatment that was given to you.
Do some nice things for you! Take care of yourself. Keep your distance from them and see them when and if it is a good thing for you. You really don't owe anybody anything. It feels like we do, but we really don't.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/am-i-right-to-say-no-and-what-is-the-best-way-462585.htm
I think Aprl got a lot of feed back on her newest thread.
Please Aprl, seems you are going well don't fall back into their clutches. I also recommend you stick to your newest thread. Gets confusing when u have two going and this one is 3 months old.