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Grandma1954... forgot to add this tidbit You also need to make sure that he is wiping himself well and properly. You might be surprised that he may be needing help with this task.
Grandma1954 July 29, 2023 4:05 pm Short answer... It is time for you to monitor bathroom time. Not just toileting but handwashing, showering, brushing teeth and all the rest that goes on behind what are normally closed doors. You can do it in such a way that you are not "hovering" but there to "fix your hair", "tweeze out the hair on your chin", "grab a tooth flosser", "get that lotion for your arthritic elbow" "grab the towels for the washer" The key is...leave an empty roll of tp so you have to hand him some. After a while it he will become used to you in the bathroom.
Don't allow him to use any toilets in your house. Instead put a bedside commode next to wherever he is. When he's in the living room, put it next to his chair. When he's in bed put it right next to his bed, and so on. I had to use a bedside commode for my late husband when he became completely bedridden, and I would put about 6-8 inches of water in it and then spray some Poo-Pourri in the water. That works great to keep the room from smelling bad. And then YOU just dump it in the toilet and clean out the basin. Much easier than cleaning up a mess off the bathroom floor every day.
You can keep the bathroom door locked, or you can unhook the chain in the tank so it won't flush. And when he does use the toilet he needs someone to be there to hand him the TP and to make sure he's getting everything cleaned satisfactorily. A lot of people discovered the toilet seat bidet when there were shortages of TP, that's another option.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
forgot to add this tidbit
You also need to make sure that he is wiping himself well and properly.
You might be surprised that he may be needing help with this task.
Short answer...
It is time for you to monitor bathroom time.
Not just toileting but handwashing, showering, brushing teeth and all the rest that goes on behind what are normally closed doors.
You can do it in such a way that you are not "hovering" but there to "fix your hair", "tweeze out the hair on your chin", "grab a tooth flosser", "get that lotion for your arthritic elbow" "grab the towels for the washer"
The key is...leave an empty roll of tp so you have to hand him some.
After a while it he will become used to you in the bathroom.
OP, your DH doesn’t remember how to use the toilet properly.
My friend hired a caregiver. Now the mom always gets help in the bathroom. No more mess.
I had to use a bedside commode for my late husband when he became completely bedridden, and I would put about 6-8 inches of water in it and then spray some Poo-Pourri in the water. That works great to keep the room from smelling bad.
And then YOU just dump it in the toilet and clean out the basin. Much easier than cleaning up a mess off the bathroom floor every day.
A lot of people discovered the toilet seat bidet when there were shortages of TP, that's another option.