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As a 56 yr old male caregiver to my mother. I would never allow this not bathing. That's just not an option. Its a health concern as much as a "bad odor". I allow mom to do as much as she can (her pvts etc) but the areas she cannot do- I wash etc. I make it as comfortable as possible and as fast as possible without being rushed. Warm bathroom, clothes ready towels ready etc. If and when I can ot do this any longer I will enlist an aide or someone who can. Hygiene is a must.
I'm sorry you are going through this but masking and pacifying is not going to work.
Helpful Answer (22)
Reply to Lwayne
BurntCaregiver Apr 20, 2024
Well said, Lwayne. Masking and pacifying does not work. Daily hygiene care is a must not just because it's gross when someone smells and is dirty, but because it's a health hazard to them too.
Air freshener won't work. Body odor and filth isn't an option. It is a health hazard.

If you are unable to care for a senior to the extent that you cannot get him or her to bath or to allow bathing then it is time to consider placement.
Helpful Answer (21)
Reply to AlvaDeer

I couldn’t accept the refusal and I couldn’t sleep in a room with it. I’d hire a bath aide who’s experienced in the “tricks of the trade” and make it happen
Helpful Answer (16)
Reply to Daughterof1930

Products to mask the stench is not the solution. Finding out WHY your spouse refuses to bathe for weeks IS. Dementia is the most common reason. A full medical and cognitive exam is in order here.
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Reply to lealonnie1

Air Freshner only masks the order. I would find a way to get this person in a shower. Don't ask. My daughter, RN, tries to make her residents think they have made the decision. "Mrs Smith, wouldn't it be nice to feel fresh and clean and have clean fresh clothes" Hopefully, they say yes.

Is your shower/tub easily accessible? If a tub, there are bars that go over the side. There are handle type bars you can buy that have suction to fit on the wall. A shower chair is good. Handheld shower head a plus. Water warm not hot. The bathroom warm. I used a portable heater to get Moms warmed up.

If you do the washing, suds up real good using a bath spong or puff and then use the shower head to rinse. For private areas, I just had Mom stand up, facing the wall and holding onto the rail, placing her legs apart, I usedva washcloth with soap to clean the rectum area and then used the shower head to rinse the area and the vigina area, I never used soap there. I had a handtowel on the toilet seat and had her sit down there so I could dry her off. I dressed her in the bathroom where it was warm.

In ALs and nursing homes, residents are bathed 2x a week. There are wipes that can be used for in between. Mom has a BO problem so between baths I would wash her underarms and put on deoderant.

Maybe you can see if there is an aide willing to bath ur LO. Sometimes they are willing to let someone else help.
Helpful Answer (10)
Reply to JoAnn29

Bath aide or facility placement, Even if it's not a regular shower. there needs to be regular cleaning, sponge bath, bath wipes--something!

No unbathed spouse-in-the-house.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to RedVanAnnie
BurntCaregiver Apr 20, 2024
There definitely has to be at least daily washing up and clean clothes.
There are no air fresheners that can solve this problem, but there are options to solve it.

No playing games about hygiene. Its either be showered (or at least washed up) and clea clothes daily or it's placement in a care facility.

You know, when a person gets to the point where they are refusing to be clean that's usually when it's time for nursing home/memory care placement.
Helpful Answer (9)
Reply to BurntCaregiver

Nothing strong enough for me, I would sleep in another room.
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Reply to MeDolly
Anxietynacy Apr 13, 2024
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Sorry to see this situation. Save your money on fresheners and have your spouse placed in a facility. It is a health hazard.
Helpful Answer (8)
Reply to Patathome01

My brother hasn’t had a bath / shower, for over 4 years now he’s in a diaper,s 247 and depends on his caregivers to clean him up, he is in a wheelchair and can only use his urinal when he’s in bed the even then he still pees in the two diapers and xtra pad . I used to do the cleaning up for him for 4 months, 2 months just me , but I couldn’t do it anymore because of the smell and his attitude . He now pays two women that come in the morning for a few hours and evenings , they wear mask and the one in the morning even wears a plastic safety mask over the cloth face mask because of the overnight amount of urine he puts out he’s 74 and in wheelchair he can only walk when he gets help from a therapist on a walker. But even then he’s sitting in the wheelchair from 9 am till 7 pm . I spray Lysol and try not to be around him when he’s comes in from sitting down at the club house he doesn’t care about his health or if he smells the caretakers get paid to just clean him up and feed him dress him put him to bed,? Maybe it’s time for outside help? Maybe a psychiatrist. After he had 2 strokes and fell and injured his back his health is going downhill ,,, can anyone relate?
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Jjfish358
Beatty Apr 20, 2024
I am struggling to visit my LO due to odours. I visit less, stay less time. It is a shame. Support workers help with showers, home is keep clean, clothes washed, floors mopped, bins out out etc but still odours remain.
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