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I recently moved my aunt to a nursing home. It was a quick move, so I had to choose the best of the worst-rated facilities, as only they had Medicaid-pending beds available when we needed one. Generally, the care and physical conditions have been much better than I had feared.



The one area that bothers me is that Aunt will wear the same clothes for many days. I'm sure she sleeps in them at night too. This week I knew for a fact it had been 6 days, and I complained. The CNA promised to get her out of bed early the next day (which I know aunt won't like!) and make her shower and change.



Some background: aunt has always lived alone and done as she pleased. At the senior apartments where she lived previously, a few ladies just went around in pajamas all day long, so there was no pressure to get fixed up. Sometimes I think, well, if she's happy, I should stay out of it, as she gets few enough choices in her life anymore, and it's not like the clothes get dirty (no bathroom issues at present). The social worker told me early on to let her decide.



I do make a big song and dance about bringing in the clean laundry and showing where I put each thing, in case she thinks she doesn't have clothes. I also leave a fresh outfit at the end of the bed when I visit, but that doesn't seem to have any effect.



What is reasonable to expect of the facility, and what is best for aunt's quality of life? I think she might be in a better mood if she wore comfy pajamas at night and changed day outfits at least a couple of times a week, but maybe I'm wrong.

My mother was changed into a nightgown each night and into fresh clothing daily, no exceptions. It’s not asking too much. The question becomes is your aunt refusing to cooperate with dressing or is the facility neglecting to bother? Even every other day may suffice as there’s no incontinence. It’s a good question to have a care meeting with the director about. These meetings were a regular thing in my mother’s nursing home and could be asked for at anytime by the staff or family. BTW, my mother was in the best NH in her city, most of the time on Medicaid after running out of money. Her care was the same throughout no matter how it was paid. Medicaid doesn’t necessarily men bad
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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I would say your Aunt won't get out of bed early enough for the aides to get her ready for the day. And they are not allowed to force her. Morning shift starts at 7am. Aunt is not the aides only resident. They all have to be dressed, hair brushed and teeth brushed by breakfast which is 8/9 oclock.

When dealing with the CNAs remember you want them as friends. I found out asking was better than complaining. "I noticed Aunt has been wearing the same clothes everyday, is there a reason why?" Me, since Mom never had the same aide I talked to the desk nurse. It could be Aunt won't get out of bed so aide needs to go on to the next resident. Not really an excuse for Aunt being in same clothes for 6 days. Something needs to be worked out. Aunt should be changed for bed and clean clothes each day.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I don't see a real issue here.
Cleanliness is the only issue I see where clothing is concerned.
I tend to wear the same thing pretty much daily. A pair of Kirkland Blue Jeans and a tee that is loose -fit that I love from target; it's usually black tho I splurged on one loden green and one mustard color. I mean it is almost my uniform, if you will. I have a couple of beloved teeshirt from daughter, one with a raven and one from Powell Books in Portland.
My uniform wouldn't much vary in care I suspect. I am 81. Never had lots of interest in fashion other than watching others for fun.
I find tee shirts are best changed daily. You know.....underarms and such.
Jeans go longer and are more dependent on how much gardening.

My brother was much the same. A So Cal boy he had shorts on and had about three that looked the same. Then a few teeshirts. A his birkenstocks. He never varied much; I doubt anyone would guess how often washing?

People vary in their beliefs. My daughter is a real "towel washer" believing we rub our bodies with them. I wash towers less because it is our CLEAN bodies we use them on. We have fun arguing the issue.

If you are with your loved one, in all truth, in their room with them, in all honesty I would think you would know if there was an issue to worry about. Then I would discuss with the administration. If you note no real problem then I think there is no real problem and I would just leave this issue.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I'm 60 and probably weird in the fact that I often sleep in my day close and change the next morning, oddly it doesn't bother me in the least. Sometimes the next day I will only change my underwear.

I honestly don't tell people because they will think I'm weird, and find a reason to tell my why it may be unhygienic. So with that I don't see an issue with.

As for her not changing her clothes, I think undergarments should definitely be changed daily, unless your aunt wears adult diapers.

But I do think 3 days with the same clothes is enough. That's my opinion where I would draw a line. I'm sure others think differently. I doubt if there is a right or wrong here
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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I don’t know what your state laws are. Our previous governor ruled that cameras were allowed in facilities in our state.

Place a camera in her room so you can see what is going on when you aren’t there.

Your aunt is fortunate to have you as her advocate to speak up about her clothes being changed.

Look to see if she is wearing soiled clothing. Six days without changing is a bit much.

My godmother was in the best of the worst nursing homes. She had Alzheimer’s disease and macular degeneration. She went blind.

Her son lived in San Diego and only visited once a year. He bought her all new clothes before she moved into her facility.

Sadly, they stole all of her nice clothes. I guess they figured that she was a blind woman with Alzheimer’s disease and wouldn’t know what she was wearing.

My godmother was dressed in rags that didn’t fit her when I went to visit her. I wasn’t her POA so I didn’t have any authority over her care.

I hope your aunt’s situation improves. Wishing you all the best.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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Anxietynacy Jun 15, 2024
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