What's going on?

Members here: This is a child posting. Not yet at the age of consent.

She should call Child Protective Services, a teacher, a Counselor at school.

It is entirely possible that a grandma can have custody of an older sister first because of having different fathers with different levels of custody interest.

So sorry that we cannot help her, but jumping on her story is not appropriate.
I would rather be fooled and believe her than hurt the feelings of a 14 year old child already being abused by her grandmother!

I think that you should report this at your school at once. They will have referrals to make. This honestly is abusive. While I suspect that your grandmother isn't well in some way I cannot judge from here (dementia or mental disorder??) that isn't something anyone here can help you with, and you do need help and protection.

If you speak to school counselors they should refer this case to APS to check on your grandmother, to pay a visit. I would not discuss with your grandmother what you are going to do.

Is your Sister now out of the home; is she an older sister?
Who else lives in the home and is witnessing this?
Are your parents deceased or in some other way out of the picture (it is rare to be adopted by grandparents otherwise.)

If there are no school authorities to help you you will be left with having to speak with the APS yourself. I cannot know what kind of access you have there, but a visit to your local police station or to authorities such as Sheriff to refer you for help may also help you.

I hope you will update us and I am so very sorry to hear this. I wish you the best.

How old is your Grandma?

Are you actually adopted, or are your Grandparents your legal guardians?

Is your Grandpa still alive? If so, how does he react to all of this? Why isn't he dealing with this?

If your Grandpa is no longer there, you can tell a trusted neighbor or a school teacher/counselor and have them call social services for your county and a social worker can visit and help figure things out.

You put your question under the Alzheimer's/dementia category. If you know that grandma has dementia, then you also know that this is all "dementia behavior " and par for the course, right?

My question is, why is a grandmother with dementia petitioning for and able to adopt children?

You need to talk to a school counselor now. Either your grandmother is suffering from a Dementia, or she is mentally ill. Which ever, you should not be living with her.

Did your grandparents REALLY adopt you? And your parents agreed/ were in jail/ hopeless drug addicts/ both dead? Why didn’t your grandparents take you when they ‘adopted’ your sister? Who did you stay with while your sister was ‘adopted’? Have you talked to your sister and to your parents (unless they all died in the same catastrophe)?

If you want to write fiction, you should get some facts straight first. Otherwise the reader thinks “what’s going on?”

Kd, the thing is, you can't be TOO "grateful" to your grandparents for adopting you that you're willing to accept any abuse that's thrown your way because they're "better than nobody" and you should feel "lucky". It's a fine line we adoptees sometimes walk.....when those who adopted us are mentally ill and acting unhinged, giving us daily stomach aches and anxiety attacks. What do we do? Where do we turn? And grandpa turning a deaf ear and a blind eye to grandmas terrible behavior is not okay either. In many ways, its even worse than grandmas behavior. Because you figure she has dementia or is mentally ill. Whats HIS excuse ignoring the elephant in the room watching his granddaughter suffer false accusations? That's how I felt about my adopted father, standing by doing nothing while my adopted mother wreaked chaos in the house. I had nobody to talk to....no siblings, and in those days, schools weren't equipped to deal with home troubles as they are today. So I feel your pain. I did what Alva suggested to you; to keep a diary of the insane things that went on in my home in case my mother was taken away or I went into foster care, etc. That day never came. I see CPS did nothing for you either 😑

I think our system is still broken. That a woman in your grandma's mental condition would qualify to adopt children, any children, even kin, is unthinkable. That CPS would do nothing to help you is unthinkable as well. Yet here you are, at 14, between a rock and a hard place.

I don't know what the "answer" is except maybe to appeal to grandpa? For him to tell you to "leave him out of it" is to shirk HIS responsibilities as a guardian to YOU and as a husband to HER. Hold him accountable for the role he took on as your guardian when he signed the adoption papers. Grandma needs a full medical evaluation and HE needs to force the issue now.

Do you know who the social worker is who was handling the adoption? WAS there a social worker, a lawyer, etc? If so, that may be another avenue to explore: notifying these people of your situation. Keeping in mind you may be sent into foster care.

Me, I rode it out till I moved out right after I graduated high school. It was a long road indeed.

I'm so sorry you're going thru such a terrible ordeal. I wish you good luck and Godspeed getting the help you need.

Members here: This is a child posting. Not yet at the age of consent.

She should call Child Protective Services, a teacher, a Counselor at school.

It is entirely possible that a grandma can have custody of an older sister first because of having different fathers with different levels of custody interest.
CPS does appoint grandparents as foster parents first, then supervises adoption(s). The circumstances where a parent on drugs loses custody is no longer rare.

So sorry that we cannot help her, but jumping on her story is not appropriate.
I would rather be fooled and believe her than hurt the feelings of a 14 year old child already being abused by her grandmother! Some of you are way out of line! I have reported your post.

Like said, she is already abused, no need for anyone else to be cruel.

I advise the child to not post anymore on Aging Care, and dial 911.

KDVD,

Thank you so much for responding to us and to our answers for you. Please try not to take seriously anyone who questions you; I know from your writings here that you are exceptionally bright and well spoken; I am going to assume as someone who is quite young that you are also social media savvy, and you understand there are all sorts in the world, and Social Media doesn't always lend itself well to advice and the written word. Don't let yourself get pushed to anger because the important thing is to take care of yourself.

I hope you will keep a careful and WELL HIDDEN (locker at school) daily diary of things in your world. And PLEASE do consider reports to school, to school counselors, to Child Protective Services for your own protection.

Again, so sorry for what you are going through. You sound bright enough that with good grades you can work toward early emancipation. Stay away from that home all you can, and again, do know that cameras in the room of a young girl is EXCEPTIONALLY abusive and would not be accepted by the authorities.

Best of luck and again thank you for responding to us.

Kdvdspp, please reach out to the proper authorities about your situation. Help and resources are available 24/7 at Childhelpline.org as well.
 
This thread has been closed to comments. Per our terms of use, members must be at least 18 years of age to use AgingCare's site/services: https://www.agingcare.com/aboutus/termsofuse.