My mom is the past she was a strong, independent carefree person...I would say now going back about 2 years she always says she doesn't feel well.. I ask her what she is feeling & she says "I DON'T KNOW" says she can not explain it....says her head feels empty...has been in & out of emergency rooms more than i can count....all test come out negative, BUT she still insist Doctors are not telling her the truth! Shes diabetic also & is paranoid that her numbers are always in the 80's & not in the 90's or 100's like before. She sees a little spot on her skin, throat, raspy voice she runs to urgent care to be checked! She is taking meds for depression & anxiety in which she also states that she thinks she may go crazy...she resides by herself....I reside in Florida so there is not much I can do but listen to brother & sister reside in NY like her, but they work brother does the best he can in taking her food because she states that she feels so out of it that she can't stand in front of a stove 'TO COOK'....she is NOT eating the right way & always timing the hours and glucose # to see if she can eat...I dont know what else to think or say because she is ALWAYS complains about an illness, but yet medical tells her everything is ok! She was in the emergency room two days ago & when she came back home she stated "I WISH THEY WOULD OF LEFT ME AT LEAST OVERNIGHT" every day she says shes nervous & anxious but dose not know why she is feeling like that because she is not thinking of anything!!

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I agree with Duped. Your Mom can no longer care for her diabetes. She is probably not eating properly. Maybe not taking her meds properly. My GF knew when she was having an episode and had a little can of juice with her at all times. You Mom may not be able to live on her own anymore. May need an aide or as suggested a nice AL where she is getting her meds and meals on time.

She should be seeing an encronologist not a PCP.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Who does mom see to manage her diabetes? It could be she's experiencing periods of hypoglycemia, which can cause paranoia and delusions, especially in the elderly. At 91, there is more risk to health with low blood sugar than with high. It's why an acceptable A1C for elderly is higher than that of younger diabetic patients.

It's where I would start, anyway. It might just be a matter of adjusting medication.

Good luck.
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Reply to notgoodenough

It sounds like mother is either a hypochondriac or going down the dementia road. She should have a cognitive exam and forget about the medical tests. And she should move into Assisted Living where she won't need to cook and will have nurses and caregivers on staff 24/7. Mom sounds incapable of living alone anymore, honestly.

Good luck.
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Reply to lealonnie1

betty70447, welcome to the forum. Have any of the doctors checked your Mom for an Urinary Tract Infection [UTI]? If not, have one of them a test. Even Urgent Care can do this type of testing while you wait. An UTI has all types of symptoms in an older person.

Let's not forget, prescription meds have side effects, and sometimes it can take months before the side effects appear. I know that empty headed foggy feeling, but for me it is seasonal allergies. Due to warmer weather nationwide [depending on where you live] trees are blooming, grass is waking up, and rains are causing mold spore.
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Reply to freqflyer

You said that your mom is “NOT eating the right way”. Perhaps this is where her problem lies. If your mom is not eating the right way then she will have that funny sensation in her head.

You should have your mom see her PCP for a thorough work-up to rule out any underlying condition(s). Otherwise, your mom needs to have three full meals (plus snacks in between full meals) per day. If your brother and sister do not have the time to cook for your mother then you should look into Meals On Wheels or any other meal-delivery service so freshly cooked food will be provided for her. Your mother at 91 years old should not be using the stove. Your mother should be using only simple counter-top appliances like a toaster, electric kettle, etc. that are easy to plug in and press a button to make simple things to eat also.
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Reply to Dupedwife

My mom, who was always mostly healthy, started stating she didn't feel well and just couldn't put her finger on it about 2 years before she died. They call it "malaise" and it could be a symptom of something, or nothing at all. She came up negative on many tests, but what really got the doctors paying attention was when she lost almost half her body weight in a little over a year.

I agree with others who suggested that having someone who can cook, make sure she's eating, hydrating, checking her blood sugar, etc. may be the only thing you can do right now.
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Reply to LilyLavalle

It’s hard to know how to help someone if they can’t articulate what they feel like.

I remember one time when my mother said to me, “I don’t feel right.”

When I asked mom what was wrong, she couldn’t tell me anything specific. I asked her if she thought that she should go to the ER. She said yes.

So, off we went to the hospital and they said that her blood pressure was extremely low.

Mom had Parkinson’s disease and we were told by the hospitalist that it is not uncommon for Parkinson’s patients to run low BP. Who knows why her primary care doctor or neurologist didn’t tell us this before?

Mom had high blood pressure in the past and was on BP meds which the hospitalist took her off of.

I am sorry that you are experiencing a situation where your mom can’t explain specifically what is going on. It’s even more frustrating that the ER isn’t picking up on anything unusual for you to be able to follow through on helping her.

I hope you will be able to sort this out soon. Is your mom on any medication that you feel needs to be adjusted? When was the last time that she had a complete physical by her primary care doctor?

Your situation is more complicated because your mom has always been a bit paranoid or shown hypochondriac tendencies. My mom didn’t complain about health issues unless she genuinely felt like something was wrong.

Wishing you and your mom all the best.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom

This does sound as though her anxiety and depression, which you already know she is diagnosed with, is not under good control. I think this is an issue of her perhaps not taking her medications?

I think at this age it is not good that she resides alone facing this chronic condition she has. Her medications and well being should be monitored.

I think personally it is time for you to visit and observe and discuss with your brother who is currently alone in this. It could be a simple matter of the medications she is on no longer working well for her, or it could be she isn't capable of remembering them well enough now, but she is also feeling anxious about being alone at this point. ALF may be a great comfort to her. I think it is time to address and discuss this with your bro.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

Is she on Medicaid in NYC? If so, she can get a home health aide to Keep her company and prepare meals. It sounds like her depression may be getting the best of her, but if she is not eating properly that will also affect her brain function. What about senior daycare? She may also be afraid to be alone. My mom would often says similar things and turn out she had dementia + depression+ hallucinations. If she has a pcp this should be discussed and she should be screened for dementia and re-evaluation of her current meds may be helpful. Best of luck
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Reply to NJmom201

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