My mom with Alzheimer's had a very bad fall last week (she's fine) but it brought to mind the question of how to handle a sibling who stole 80k from my father when my mom passes. She has never visited mother in memory care 3 years or called the place. I plan on having mom cremated and then (at some point) taken to her birth state where her mother is buried and place her with her mother. When sibling came to my father's burial (2016) I was extremely upset and left quickly afterwards and did not get to be with family (they chose to ignore her crime) I have estranged her and her children since and do not want to see her ever - especially not at mom's burial.... others will tell her - maybe I don't have anything to worry about since it will be 500 miles away.
While I think it's important to forgive people for their past actions, it's also important to protect yourself.
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Micalost:
I agree with the above statement from another poster in this thread
Typically, when a family is fractured, it is due to the parents, not being very good parents. Good parents find a way to keep their family close. Dysfunctional parents sometimes take glee in causing a fracture.
Therefore I agree with Joann29. Take the high road and include your sibling in the funeral.
Also, if you do not, you may open yourself to a lawsuit for intentional infliction of emotional distress, due to not alerting the sibling of the parents passing.
Also a possible will contest. If there is a will contest, the judge will not look kindly on the fact that you did not inform the sibling of the parent's death.
It may also destroy your credibility regarding any claims of theft by your sibling.
The bottom line, is that you do not really know how your parents treated your sibling. Perhaps they were abusive. Perhaps they actually gave her the money, then later claimed she took it.
There are a lot of dysfunctional people out there. You be the sane one, and inform your sibling of your mother's passing. Your karma will reflect your kindness. Do not become like your parents.
"Also, if you do not, you may open yourself to a lawsuit for intentional infliction of emotional distress, due to not alerting the sibling of the parents passing." doubt if there is a law requiring to let someone know a relative died. If they have something coming in the will, I would think it's their problem. (the obit will be in the paper) Only thing they could do is come after you for what (if anything) was left to them.
Take the high road and notify all siblings, estranged or otherwise.
Please do not behave in the dysfunctional way some families behave.
Notifying these people is the right thing to do. It does not matter what they did and you do not know how the parent treated them in life. Perhaps they have cause to be estranged.
In the end, it only matters what YOU do.
No responsible, loving, functional parent would want their child excluded from anything...., the funeral or an inheritance. Doing so is the domain of dysfunctional people.
Some highly functional families will even set up a trust for a drug addicted child. That is what a loving responsible parent would do.
Yes, despite what some here have said.....You will open yourself to a lawsuit of intentional infliction of emotional distress, by failing to notify.
If the estranged family member seeks counseling for not being notified, they may win their case by PROVING emotional distress was caused.
Whether or not they win the lawsuit, you will still need to spend money to defend yourself.
Also for those who advised withholding an inheritance check. ....be aware that this will be an illegal action in several ways.
An executor must provide a will to all who receive an inheritance and disperse the funds as per the will.
If not they are breaking the law. Look it up.