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If you are talking about your Aunt, then you would get her to the hospital and tell them that the POA is not doing their duty and she lives alone, has to move because the place she was staying is no longer available. She was discharged with 24/7 care needs and nobody in charge has helped her.
Most likely they will contact the POA and if they don't respond, they will go for emergency guardianship and the state will make her their ward.
It sounds like that would be the best for your aunt and even your dad.
No, about my dad. But my aunt is still capable of running her own affairs. I think she is anyway. So I don't see how all this could happen. The POA would only kick in if she was more advanced in dementia. She declined the 24/7 idea. I think if you are cognizant that you can refuse what is recommended? She said she doesn't need it. But that's why the social workers are getting us info about AL nearby. She seems onboard with it and can afford it. But if they become wards of the state, I heard that we would not be informed of where they put them.
This is the responsibility of the POA but in a recent post the person was not aware they were assigned and seems to not want the responsibility. So they need to step down. If she understands what assigning a POA means, then she revolks the old one and assigns a new one.
Are you talking about Medicaid for LTC because very few states pay for AL. Has she been declared 24/7 care? I really think you need to get APS involved. Let the State take over her care.
As said, you mentioned the POA lives out of state and didn't know they were assigned. Its going to be hard for this person to get all the paperwork together that Medicaid needs. The person is going to have to come to Aunt's State and get access to her banking accts and any assets. They are then going to have to produce 5 years of bank statements. Know what debts are out there. Spend down any money she has. I knew where my Mom kept all her important papers. I was on her bank accounts. TG she saved 5 yrs of bank statements. I had no problem supplying what was needed fir Medicaid. This POA needs to revolk his POA if he does not want it. Getting in touch with the lawyer who wrote it would be the best thing. He gets a letter from the lawyer saying the POA is revolked and gives you a copy to present to APS. Or just tell APS that the person assigned is not willing to take on the responsibility.
Again, get APS involved. If they take over, they will get Aunt into a facility with no problem. They will get the application done. The State will become her guardian and be able to access all her accts. You will only need to worry about Dad.
Yes, the hospital told me she needed 24/7 care. She has enough money for AL on her own. I heard if the state becomes guardian, that they will not tell the family where she is when they place her. So that is the only option when a POA declines the job - APS? I am not asking about my aunt now. It's something else. My two sisters and I have POA on my dad. But I cannot do this application for him. I did it for my mother and it almost caused me to have a nervous breakdown. My dad is a narcissist who tried to sabotage the Medicaid process along the way. It was awful. So stressful. I have had so many problems with him and his selfishness that I just have to walk away from this. Also, some members of my family are toxic - one of my sisters and my brother. My two sisters are completely incapable of doing the Medicaid application. They would just sit back and nothing would happen. So....idk if I also refused what would happen. There is no one else to be POA - well maybe my brother. That would also be a joke.
Some people simply have no one in their lives to handle the stuff THEY should have handled ages ago.
It is always a surprise to me when I find out that a person has done NOTHING to plan for their future. No will, trust, naming of POA, no discussions with anyone about last wishes--it's as if they are taunting death by ignoring the fact that, they too, will die.
And leave a holy mess for their families.
IF your dad has done nothing to plan--and he is impossible to work with--then don't. It will become just one more mess for the state to deal with, all his stuff will be sorted, inventoried and possibly sold. IDK. That's what I hear happens.
The only way we got my DH's Mom to make a will was to tell her that total strangers would got through her stuff. (Not totally true, a little fiblet) but she was HORRIFIED that they would see her underwear, so she did go to an attorney and make a will. It's pretty basic, from what I hear--and DH is her executor, so that'll be all kinds of fun.
If you've walked away from dad, keep walking. We cannot make people do the right thing.
Jolobo, it is not true that the state won't tell you where they are.
Someone from the family should attend the court hearing and clarify that you can't take care of her but, she is loved and the family wants to remain in contact.
It is her assets that the family no longer gets information about.
The state will stop detrimental contact with their wards. So if Auntie got all upset every time that you visited, they could bar you from contact.
They want loving family members involved, it makes their job easier.
If your Auntie can understand her own business, make the POA tell her he is NOT going to do it and she needs to assign someone else.
My husband and I refuse to put family in the situation of having to deal with us, so we have a certified elder law attorney named as our secondary POA and fiduciary, in the event we both become incompetent or injured at the same time. His firm has our wishes, via legal documents, so we get what we want for our EOL. Your Auntie needs to make changes or face being a Ward of the state.
I really recommend reading your states statutes that explain what a POA is and see if one of you are willing to fulfill that role for her.
If she willingly goes to AL, the state doesn't get involved. It's when people can no longer function, are irrational and they are in danger that the state intervenes but, only if their isn't someone assigned to authority.
For your dad - I think I would let the state deal with him. You know he is going to be beyond difficult. You know you can't deal with him without putting your well-being at risk, so don't deal with him.
This is probably one of the hardest situations you will ever face. Great big warm hug! You will do what is best for everyone involved.
You have previous posts concerning Aunt so I assumed you were talking about her. When you switch gears you need to tell us.😊
First Aunt, if she has enough money to place her into an AL then do it. Just tell her she can no longer live in Dads house. But someone is going to need to handle her money. No need for APS if she goes to an AL with no problem. If she is still with it, she can sign herself in.
Dad, if he only has the house and monthly income of SS and pension his application should be pretty easy. I went to Medicaid and the caseworker helped with the application. He gave me a list of things I needed to get and prove. Maybe if you could all work together. No one should be POA if they don't want to do the work. Surprised that any lawyer would let all of you be assigned POA. If siblings are not willing to take on the responsibilities then they should step down.
In reference to Aunt having a guardian. I think if you are at the court hearing you may be able to state that your sorry you cannot take on her care but you want to stay in touch, the guardian should take that into consideration. I think Geaton was in the same situation and was allowed input.
I do know a lady that had guardianship over a cousin with special needs. When she got into her 70s, she asked the State to revolk it because her husband had Dementia and she could no longer be responsible for cousin. She was turned down. She went to a State Senator for help and he was able to have it revoked. Problem: she now has no idea where her cousin is. The State came and swooped him away. Either do the people at the ARC (workshop for the disabled) where he worked for years. The guardian has not let her cousin have any contact with the couple that cared for him in their home, her or ARC. I told her she needs to find out who the guardian actually is and appeal to them. That her cousin needs to be able to see those people who are familiar to him. I just found this out a few days ago.
So before going the route of state guardian for Aunt , make sure you understand all the ins and outs.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Most likely they will contact the POA and if they don't respond, they will go for emergency guardianship and the state will make her their ward.
It sounds like that would be the best for your aunt and even your dad.
Are you talking about Medicaid for LTC because very few states pay for AL. Has she been declared 24/7 care? I really think you need to get APS involved. Let the State take over her care.
As said, you mentioned the POA lives out of state and didn't know they were assigned. Its going to be hard for this person to get all the paperwork together that Medicaid needs. The person is going to have to come to Aunt's State and get access to her banking accts and any assets. They are then going to have to produce 5 years of bank statements. Know what debts are out there. Spend down any money she has. I knew where my Mom kept all her important papers. I was on her bank accounts. TG she saved 5 yrs of bank statements. I had no problem supplying what was needed fir Medicaid. This POA needs to revolk his POA if he does not want it. Getting in touch with the lawyer who wrote it would be the best thing. He gets a letter from the lawyer saying the POA is revolked and gives you a copy to present to APS. Or just tell APS that the person assigned is not willing to take on the responsibility.
Again, get APS involved. If they take over, they will get Aunt into a facility with no problem. They will get the application done. The State will become her guardian and be able to access all her accts. You will only need to worry about Dad.
It is always a surprise to me when I find out that a person has done NOTHING to plan for their future. No will, trust, naming of POA, no discussions with anyone about last wishes--it's as if they are taunting death by ignoring the fact that, they too, will die.
And leave a holy mess for their families.
IF your dad has done nothing to plan--and he is impossible to work with--then don't. It will become just one more mess for the state to deal with, all his stuff will be sorted, inventoried and possibly sold. IDK. That's what I hear happens.
The only way we got my DH's Mom to make a will was to tell her that total strangers would got through her stuff. (Not totally true, a little fiblet) but she was HORRIFIED that they would see her underwear, so she did go to an attorney and make a will. It's pretty basic, from what I hear--and DH is her executor, so that'll be all kinds of fun.
If you've walked away from dad, keep walking. We cannot make people do the right thing.
Someone from the family should attend the court hearing and clarify that you can't take care of her but, she is loved and the family wants to remain in contact.
It is her assets that the family no longer gets information about.
The state will stop detrimental contact with their wards. So if Auntie got all upset every time that you visited, they could bar you from contact.
They want loving family members involved, it makes their job easier.
If your Auntie can understand her own business, make the POA tell her he is NOT going to do it and she needs to assign someone else.
My husband and I refuse to put family in the situation of having to deal with us, so we have a certified elder law attorney named as our secondary POA and fiduciary, in the event we both become incompetent or injured at the same time. His firm has our wishes, via legal documents, so we get what we want for our EOL. Your Auntie needs to make changes or face being a Ward of the state.
I really recommend reading your states statutes that explain what a POA is and see if one of you are willing to fulfill that role for her.
If she willingly goes to AL, the state doesn't get involved. It's when people can no longer function, are irrational and they are in danger that the state intervenes but, only if their isn't someone assigned to authority.
For your dad - I think I would let the state deal with him. You know he is going to be beyond difficult. You know you can't deal with him without putting your well-being at risk, so don't deal with him.
This is probably one of the hardest situations you will ever face. Great big warm hug! You will do what is best for everyone involved.
First Aunt, if she has enough money to place her into an AL then do it. Just tell her she can no longer live in Dads house. But someone is going to need to handle her money. No need for APS if she goes to an AL with no problem. If she is still with it, she can sign herself in.
Dad, if he only has the house and monthly income of SS and pension his application should be pretty easy. I went to Medicaid and the caseworker helped with the application. He gave me a list of things I needed to get and prove. Maybe if you could all work together. No one should be POA if they don't want to do the work. Surprised that any lawyer would let all of you be assigned POA. If siblings are not willing to take on the responsibilities then they should step down.
I do know a lady that had guardianship over a cousin with special needs. When she got into her 70s, she asked the State to revolk it because her husband had Dementia and she could no longer be responsible for cousin. She was turned down. She went to a State Senator for help and he was able to have it revoked. Problem: she now has no idea where her cousin is. The State came and swooped him away. Either do the people at the ARC (workshop for the disabled) where he worked for years. The guardian has not let her cousin have any contact with the couple that cared for him in their home, her or ARC. I told her she needs to find out who the guardian actually is and appeal to them. That her cousin needs to be able to see those people who are familiar to him. I just found this out a few days ago.
So before going the route of state guardian for Aunt , make sure you understand all the ins and outs.