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My cousin (Grandma's grandson) is supposed to get married over the summer. If Grandma chooses to go to the wedding, someone will have to take her and be responsible for her the entire time. Does that mean I would have to take her since I'm her caregiver? Or should her grandson and/or his mother (Grandma's daughter) be responsible for taking her? I do not want to go to the wedding. I have social anxiety disorder and I would have anxiety the entire time, even with anti-anxiety meds.


I actually don't think Grandma will want to go. I just wanted to check and see who's responsible for her if she does want to go. That way maybe I can figure something out well in advance. My thinking is that if she were still in an assisted living facility and she wanted to go, her daughter (grandson's mom) would take her. It seems like the same thing should apply here.

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First, why ru taking care of Grandma with an anxiety disorder?

Second, since you can't go then its up to your cousin to find someone to take her and bring her back. As soon as the invitation is received explain this to ur cousin so plans can be made.
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It is not a matter of who is responsible, but who is available and willing. First of all, I would not assume anything, but actually ask Grandma what she wants to do. If she wants to go then inform her daughter of her interest. Since her son is getting married, she might not want to. I would not expect the grandson to transport her for he's getting married and then going on his honeymoon.
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I'm sure others will attempt to guilt you into accompanying her, but stand firm! I see from your profile that your grandmother has mobility problems and lives in your home. Even if you did want to go, having to be responsible for Grandma sounds like it would be so much (extra) work for you. Let someone ELSE do it!
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mejjy11, how old is your Grandmother? I know for myself when I read Grandmother I think of someone who is in their 80's and 90's, and your Grandmother could only be in her 60's. What are Grandmother's health issues besides mobility [per your profile]?

You mentioned that Grandmother may not want to go to the wedding, thus that solves the problem as to who is responsible. Plus summer is a few months off, not easy to plan that far ahead.

Now, if Grandmother is determined to attend the wedding, then it would be up to other family members to coordinate Grandmother's travel. She shouldn't travel alone. And whatever you do, don't be guilt into taking Grandmother. I know how uncomfortable agoraphobic can be, you will want to run to a safe quiet place. Hard to do if traveling by plane.
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