I've been here before and now that I see the decline in my DH getting worse even though he is mobile who decides when he needs to be placed. As you know I am very burnt out and have my own health problems. My husband will be 78 and I will be 68 soon. Thank you again for listening.
I'm not sure what you're waiting for though as you've been burned out for quite some time. It's now time to act and do not only what is best for your husband but for you as well.
Best wishes in finding the best facility for him.
S/he can't say " your health and well-being don't matter. You must continue to care for your DH at home not matter what the financial or human cost."
You get to say when you're at your limit and make other arrangements for his care
If the neurologist disagrees with you then the neurologist can take your husband home and care for him.
YOU are the caregiver, YOU are the POA, YOU are the one that makes decisions as to his care.
And do not take your husband to see ALs with you. You go and pick out the one you think is best suited. Taking husband will cause problems. When we placed my Mom, I didn't tell her until we were in the car going. (She was in her last stages of Dementia) We told her she was going to a new apt and would be making new friends.
A doctor is not God as some of them think they are. My daughter has found the younger ones coming up seem to not have the God complex the older ones do. Also, they work better with the Nurses.