Why do I not have home nursing assistance for my Mom and she's taking too many laxatives? She has me buying them so I'm her enabler. If I sound like I'm refusing she gets condescending. Well she is and at 89 years old she wants to be tough and dominate like a b****. Sorry but that's how I feel. Well I'm the son of a sociopath so its between the hammer and the anvil. I don't plan on going down without a fight. I'm a nice guy but I'm not a pushover. My birthday was July 15th and I turned 54. I just thought what an accomplishment in a crazy world. You wonder if no one cares if your down and out. I said I'm down but I'm not out.
I hope you have POA. If so, find her a nice AL if she can afford it. If not, a nice LTC facility with Medicaid paying for her care. Then all you need do is visit when and if u want.
If she does not need one then replace a laxative with another "pill" it could be a TicTac, a Skittle, or say you have switched to one like a piece of chocolate.
Use moms assets to hire a caregiver that will come in a few days a week.
You could begin thinking about Memory Care if you do not feel that you can continue caring for her at home. Caring for her will get m ore difficult as she declines, it will not get easier.
If she qualifies for Hospice you would have a Nurse that would see her 1 time a week and the nurse would order necessary medications. A CNA would come in a few times a week and bathe, dress and change sheets as well as order supplies that you need. Hospice is covered by Medicare. With Hospice you could also request a Volunteer that could come and sit with mom or do a few things around the house if needed.
If mom was in the service she may qualify for help through the VA.
Why do you think there should be a home nursing assistant? You can hire one, with mom's money?
It's a good combo to be a nice guy but not a pushover.
Assuming if she's taking too many laxatives, she's having bathroom troubles. So what if she gets condescending? Sounds like your burnt out and annoyed with her antics anyhow. So learn how to tune her out and set boundaries and tell her what's what instead of the other way around.
Good luck.
Do you really think this will happen?
Best wishes to you.
Sorry to answer a question with questions.. but
Q1 Does she need *nursing* assistance? Is there medical treatments she needs?
Q2 what sort of care are you wanting? Personal care eg bathing assistance? Social company? Someone to take over the responsibility of her care?
Extra help probably won't fall from the sky.
Issue #2 "Dominate like a b****"
Well if I was backed up & my son did the shopping, I'd be asking for laxatives too. Unless Mother is housebound, I'd take her to see her local pharmacist herself & discuss her issue. She can buy what's required & you can think no more about it. Reasonable?