My mom is 82 years old. She has had three strokes and one mild heart attack within 3 years. She has dementia and and is bed ridden. She takes nine medications and now doesn't want to eat. Her doctor has said she is in her last stage of life but I just need to know if there is anything I can do?
Here is more information on hospice. http://hospicefoundation.org/
Dementia and strokes are definitely negative. For example: I have frontotemporal dementia--FTD--and Lewy Body Dementia, and last year had a mild ischemic stroke. I have never been a 'morning person', tho a couple of cups of coffee usually get me going, but I have always been a 'late nighter'. Now I routinely sleep 10-12 hours nightly, followed by a 1 to 1 1/2 hour nap 2-3 hours later, and another nap a couple of hours after taking my little care partner for a half hour walk. If my wife and I travel, I'm exhausted after 3-4 hours and must nap, in the car or after we get where we're going. If I've been doing a lot of 'brain work' (I like hidden object puzzles, mahjong and crosswords) after a couple of hours I'm ready for a nap. My brain needs to rest!
Another factor to consider, other than age, is medications. Many many meds cause drowsiness, and when you take two or three, or more, with the same side effects, it builds up and your brain has to rest to metabolize the meds.
The most frustrating thing to me is I'm aware of what is going on, of who I am with, where I am, what I want to do, etc., but frequently my brain just won't let me respond or do what I want.
Love your mother, support her, keep her comfortable. Don't assume she doesn't know or doesn't care what is going on, just let her live her life. If you become really concerned, or if something seems to change for the worse, talk with her doctor. That's what I want my wife to do (DON'T EVER GIVE UP).
Don't know if this helps, but I hope it does. God bless you on this journey.
Drives me nuts on the 20 hrs days but if I try to fight it then at best I'm foggy at worst I vomit & seizure.
It's def true that dementia makes our brains work much harder than we're used to add a lifetime of experiences to be collated and sorted before the end and sleep becomes imperative. Sleep also allows the body to heal things that are out of sync.
Even when she was sleeping I used to gently massage my Aunt's hands/arms, feet and legs with body lotion. Talking very quietly about things we used to do. She'd stay asleep but there would be the odd smile or for a moment her hand would grip mine.
Also have to consider the possibility of end stage. My grandmother, who died of Vascular Dementia, slept probably 90% of her 98th year of life.
Aside from those two considerations, don't overlook brain fatigue. As people, we tend to take everything internal for granted, and we forget our internal organs (pumps, filters, and even the brain) become tired too and need to rest. Ever hear of mental fatigue? Ever drive down the road at night, drowsy, long after you should have gone to bed, and suddenly see a deer run across the road only to find, on second look, there was no deer? That's your brain saying "I need a break."
We don't think of all the work the brain does, and we presume it does not get tired. Think back to when you were a student taking a difficult test, like the SAT, or as a parent trying to help your child with math homework, or trying to fill out a 1040 for the IRS without using eFile or a myriad of other income tax softwares, or maybe even using them; remember how tiring that can be? That's your brain saying "Whoa. I need a break"! So you walk away for a few minutes, get a drink of something, and 30 minutes later your ready to give it another go. And this time you successfully accomplish your mission!
Understand: Dementia is a disease of the brain. Dementia makes things more difficult; things that once were simple (like 2+2=4) now become difficult (2? + maybe 2 more? = wait a minute, I got it, 4?). The more difficult the tasks become, the longer and harder the brain works, the tireder it gets and the more rest it needs.
How does the brain rest? Sleep. For years, 8 hours of sleep has been the norm. As people age, 8 hours plus a nap becomes the norm. With dementia, 8 hours turns into 10 or 12, and a nap becomes 1-2 hours, sometimes multiple times daily. And that's without the influence of medications, side effects and difficult mental tasks (including crosswords, mahjong, and other games).
I've never been a morning person, but on non-work days I've always been up, coffee in hand, by 10 at the latest, and even on work nights in bed after the 10 PM news. Now, 6 years in with FTD and LBD, I normally go to bed 9 to10 PM (I'll catch up on the news in the morning), sleep using a CPAP till 10 or 11 AM (occasionally later), wake and get coffee (frequently in a fog that, for the last 2-3 weeks never seems to go away ), 2 to 2 1/2 hours later take a 1-2 hour nap and sometimes a second nap of equal length a few hours later.
In other words--until 6 years ago I functioned well on 7-9 hours sleep, sometimes less (I was on call 24/7). Now, with dementia, I need 12-16 hours sleep daily to function as well as I do.
Such is life with Lewy and FT.
See All Answers