DH took 91 year old MIL to dr for first time since pandemic, and I was thinking they would test her for dementia but they didn't - all it says is 'memory issues probably due to small vessel disease'. I guess based on an earlier CT scan from 3 years ago where there was some 'white matter atrophy' or some such.
She has an abdominal aneurysm, a hernia and some kidney cysts that they are doing an abdominal CT scan next week since the last one was in 2019. But no dementia question test or nothing. She had UTI but MIL didn't have any symptoms and the treatment didn't help her memory issues or sundowning fears as we hoped it would.
She has declined since the pandemic, she was late on her bills in January so we took them over, got the POAs and everything. She cannot remember who anyone is or to take her vitamins or her antibiotics last week without prompting. She has a horrible time at sunset, obsessed with neighbors and took a fall trying to go over to see if they were home one evening, my son, 24, lives with her since that. He will be going back to college (hopefully) in August tho (late bloomer), so I was hoping for a diagnosis since to a large degree my DH and family are in a strange sort of denial, it's not complete denial but they just don't have any sense of urgency about her living arrangements. My son is the one who volunteered to go since it was just blank stares between DH and his sister. We also have companion visiting two evenings a week for a couple of months now and MIL thinks she is family, but I don't think it's realistic to pay for more or for 24/7 companion when there are nice facilities nearby.
Why wouldn't they give her the test and diagnosis? DH thinks the Dr. is more concerned with the other issues or maybe at her age they just feel memory issues are normal? Is a diagnosis even needed if we had to place her?
Don't go into a long explanations.
1. No longer can pay bills.
2. Can't remember to take pills
3. Sundowns, obsessed with neighbors
Hand the list to the receptionist and ask that the doctor look at it. This helps him with the questions he will ask. I also stayed in the room sitting in a corner. When Moms Dr. would ask her a question and she answered, he would look at me for confirmation.
PCP know a little about everything but are not specialist. Dementia needs a specialist.
Your MIL really shouldn't be left on her own, especially at night. What does DH and SIL plan to do when son returns to college? MIL living on her own will be a disaster waiting to happen.
Good luck to all of your family.
In the meantime, your MIL needs to be safe and her health concerns need to be met. The person with her POA for medical is responsible for making sure her medical needs are being met - and it seems they are bring addressed. The person with POA for financial should work with person with POA for medical make sure that she needs are being met - medications given as prescribed, meals, basic needs met... These 1-2 people may be waiting on outcomes of treating other medical problems before considering other more permanent home situations.
If she has the money to afford staying in her own home with Care arrangements, you could probably start off with a few hrs in the morning and a few hrs in the evening or even consider a Live In.