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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I'm sorry to see this about your wife. For some reason, people who have dementia seem to resist care in a lot of ways and bathing/showering seems to be one area of particular concern. Your profile indicates that she has a lot of other medical problems in addition to dementia. I'd try to figure out if something about it hurts her, like the position, the touch, the time involved, exhaustion, etc. It might be she doesn't need a full bath or shower everyday. She may not be able to verbalize why she's resisting. If she's not doing better with the bath aid, I'd explore getting her clean in ways other than showering, like sponge baths.
Some people with dementia just have an aversion to running water. Their senses can't handle it. She might be cold, you can address that by warming the bathroom, warming towels, bath robe, etc. Try switching the time of the showers to see if that might help. Sometimes, it's just trying different things to see what works best. It could pass over time, but, maybe not.
At one point, my LO was very resistant to bathing, especially showers, but, when she arrived at MC, they worked with her for about a week and then she had no trouble with her showers. They were very experienced and knew the techniques. I recall they played music during the resident's showers. I think it helped relax them.
Yes, this is a rolling target to aim at. Staying flexible will help your mental health and frustration levels. Do you have a hand-held shower head installed that she can control so that maybe she only washes what she wants or only her peri area? Is there a seat in the shower? Music? Is the shower running when she gets in and maybe this bothers her? If she is resistant to undressing, maybe just get her down to her skivvies and pretend it's a bathing suit. For my 98-yr old aunt with severe dementia they used to tell her she had an important appointment (something that was important to her) or were expecting company (from someone she remembered and loves) and that worked for a long while, and then it didn't. There's nothing wrong with sponge baths. One thing about dementia, it keeps you on your creative toes. I wish you all the best and peace in your heart that you are doing your utmost no matter what the outcomes.
Dear Taurus1, I'm sure this is frustrating for you especially after redesigning your master bath with all the essentials for her as well as having "females" to assist her. But, just as "Sunnygirl1" said they often have an aversion to running water, sometimes they are sensitive to how it feels and even sometimes it's the noise of running water. My mom never wanted showers or bathing done when I moved her into AL back in 2015. Now, after she contracted COVID in April and I moved her to another facility into their memory care wing, she has hospice involved. They couldn't get her into the shower either even when they brought a shower chair. So now, they have a team of two gals (so they could do it more quickly instead of one person) who come twice a week and have been able to give her bed baths as well as using a waterless, no rinse shampoo for her hair and this has worked. I used to provide disposable bathing cloths which I bought through Walgreen's some of which can even be warmed up in the microwave if they tend to get cold. They were alcohol and fragrance free to prevent drying and irritation to her skin and they contained Aloe Vera which has healing and soothing properties so that could be another solution. Good luck!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Some people with dementia just have an aversion to running water. Their senses can't handle it. She might be cold, you can address that by warming the bathroom, warming towels, bath robe, etc. Try switching the time of the showers to see if that might help. Sometimes, it's just trying different things to see what works best. It could pass over time, but, maybe not.
At one point, my LO was very resistant to bathing, especially showers, but, when she arrived at MC, they worked with her for about a week and then she had no trouble with her showers. They were very experienced and knew the techniques. I recall they played music during the resident's showers. I think it helped relax them.
I'm sure this is frustrating for you especially after redesigning your master bath with all the essentials for her as well as having "females" to assist her. But, just as "Sunnygirl1" said they often have an aversion to running water, sometimes they are sensitive to how it feels and even sometimes it's the noise of running water.
My mom never wanted showers or bathing done when I moved her into AL back in 2015. Now, after she contracted COVID in April and I moved her to another facility into their memory care wing, she has hospice involved. They couldn't get her into the shower either even when they brought a shower chair. So now, they have a team of two gals (so they could do it more quickly instead of one person) who come twice a week and have been able to give her bed baths as well as using a waterless, no rinse shampoo for her hair and this has worked. I used to provide disposable bathing cloths which I bought through Walgreen's some of which can even be warmed up in the microwave if they tend to get cold. They were alcohol and fragrance free to prevent drying and irritation to her skin and they contained Aloe Vera which has healing and soothing properties so that could be another solution. Good luck!