My mother walked around for 2 days holding her arm and groaning loudly in pain with every step. We decided to take her to the er and she wouldn't let me change her top. She had spilled food on it and I wanted her to be clean but she would yell in pain if I tried to lift her arm so we just took her that way. As soon as we got there and they put her in a bed there was no more groaning or complaining of pain. When asked if she could raise her arms she raised them both high above her head with no complaints. They did x-rays and found nothing but a little arthritis. We thought maybe she had fell and hurt herself. My son wheeled her back to the car and the very minute he tried to get her in the car she was yelling in pain again. She is still doing it. I sleep in a recliner because of my scoliosis and she was in her chair close to me last night. The room was dark cause we were going to sleep. She was very quiet. As soon as I remembered I needed to set my alarm on my phone and turned my phone on and the light lit up my face she yelled "Oh it hurts so bad". When my phone was back off again she stopped doing it. I feel like I want to treat her like a child throwing a tantrum and just ignore it. One night at 4:30 in the morning I was still awake because of this so I turned on the light and got her up and got her in bed so I could get some sleep. Am I treating her unfairly by ignoring this or should I run up a bill each time in the er...I'm afraid if something does happen I won't believe her and she will actually be ill.
I would schedule an appointment with her geriatrics/internist and investigate all possible sources of her pain.
Like the others have said, dementia patients are bad at being able to pinpoint their pain. That doesn't mean, however, that your mother should be taken to the ER every time she complains. I am 62 years old and wake up every single day of my life stooped over in back pain; it takes me 1 hour at least, and 2 ibuprofen to straighten up. That doesn't mean I need to be seen in the ER; it means I have chronic pain due to arthritis and that can't be 'fixed'. It is what it is. I don't have Alzheimers, however, so I keep the pain to myself and do what I have to do to minimize it.
In your case, take mom to her PCP for a full physical. If he deems her to be in fairly good health, then reserve the ER trips for what YOU deem to be true emergencies. I will never forget my mother insisting on going to the ER for black & blues she'd had on her arms. Honest to God. She would not stop carrying on until I took her; my father was getting surgery upstairs in the same hospital for a broken hip, and my mother was downstairs in the ER being seen for black & blues (while on blood thinners, I might add). The doctor looked at her and said, "What are you doing here, Josephine? I've never heard of a person coming to the ER for bruises. Go home." She had just started down the dementia highway when this incident took place. She is now over 4 years into it, and I've had her in the ER about 10 times since, but never for nonsensical reasons. Just last week she showed me about 4 black & blues on her arms and kept repeating, over and over again, what are these from? Oh my God, these are BAD. And the ER incident came to mind immediately. I told her to wear long sleeves and she wouldn't be reminded of the black & blues which were harmless. True story.
Wishing you all the best in sorting the real from the fabricated. Sending you a hug, too, because you probably need one.
Those were the good times. Now she screams out loudly in pain saying her knees hurt all the time. She lets out that exact same scream if my hands are cold when I change her diaper or if she wants the drapes closed. It's just her way of saying "hey".
Please see if you can get your mom qualified...it is a huge help.
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