Follow
Share

My mom is in memory care due to being at this level of dementia and she is the only one who can walk on her own. Everyone else is in wheelchairs, a lot older, and a lot weaker physically and mentally. She is sociable and there is only one other person there that can talk out of 48 people. I feel like she is a "fish out of water". But, mom is not able to take care of her financial/medical affairs, she is incontinent and needs someone to wipe/change her and put on her briefs/diapers, needs to be bathed, has fallen twice, would not be able to take her meds on her own, and would need assistance in all of these things along with finding her room.
I was wondering if she would be able to be in assisted living because there are so many more things they can do and the facilities are nicer. It's depressing for me to see mom who is ambulatory and social in the memory care setting. I feel like she is having less quality of life in memory care and is going to deteriorate faster due to being in such a restrictive environment. Are there any assisted living who would take someone like my mom or am I out of luck?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
My dad is in assisted living and we purchase 'buy up' care to meet his additional needs. Memory care was discussed but he does not wander so there is no need for him to be in a lockup facility. It might be a wash cost-wise when you're done but the social aspects of assisted living are so much more. Do your shopping to find the right fit.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This definitely depends on the facility. Would your Mom be safe with the level of independent living in the facility, and etc. Some do have, as Babs75 says, bump up in level of care needed, so that you may pay 200.00 for independence in almost everything, and then more and more as you need more and more care from personnel.
Another issue is that ALF for the most part try to have people capable of some level of appropriate socializing. If the ALF has too many people in regular care who are very needy then the residents who are able to function are sometimes upset, feeling they are there to "give care" to their more needy neighbor, to seek help for them.
So it absolutely depends on how the facility works and I would start to look in your area and have your list of questions at the ready. Where my bro is currently there is really no one who can do changing and etc. for incontinent patients. There is assistence with medication by a medication nurse if that is needed, but people are expected to be able to get themselves out of their own rooms and into the dining hall for meals and etc.
Wishing you good luck in your search. It's so hard to find ideal in this journey.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Depends on the facility, my stepfather and his wife live in AL, she has dementia, he is falling apart physically. Once he goes she will be moved into MC, she cannot live by herself.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My 92 y/o mother was in regular Assisted Living but was having A LOT of trouble; ie: kept falling, needed more help toileting & getting in/out of her chair, and then she came down with pneumonia & went to the hospital & rehab. During that time, her dementia had worsened and she became wheelchair bound. They would not take her back in regular Assisted Living, but agreed to take her in their Memory Care Annex where she's in the same boat your mom is in now. So, I have the choice to leave her there or to try and find a new ALF for her, which I don't want to do because she's moved a lot in the past 6 years. As dementia progresses, they WILL need Memory Care anyway, so another move is just temporary anyway, in my opinion. While not perfect, MC does provide a much higher level of care for my mother which I appreciate. Plus, they do have entertainment and activities as well. There are a couple of women who she can pal around with, but not to the degree SHE would like. She wants desperately to go back to regular Assisted Living, and asks weekly why she can't. Sigh. She will run out of money in about a year anyway, and then I'll have to apply for Medicaid (unbeknownst to her) to get her placed in Skilled Nursing. I truly hope it doesn't come to that.

If it's not one thing, it's another. At this age, and in this condition, NOTHING is perfect, and that's really the bottom line, isn't it?

Best of luck!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

At my dad's assisted living they just implemented a new memory care wing however they also have escalating levels of care for residents in regular assisted living also. You can get people to take you to meals, do multiple checks during the day, etc, and provide assistance with showering, dressing, etc. I am not familiar with their policies on incontinence. You can also have your own private caregivers give additional care. However, a big however, they do NOT provide any oversight for folks who may wander off, or get lost, or try to enter the apartments of other residents. The people that I know of who have moved to the locked memory care unit were all having issues with those things.

I have a friend who thought her mom might need the memory care unit for a bit more supervision during the day but decided to just up her level of care in regular assisted living so that she gets multiple wellness checks each day and an attendant to help get her to meals. I don't know if there is actually any cost differential but it was more pleasant for her mother to not have to move and to stay with her tablemates at dinner.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter