Wouldn't placement in a facility 4 hours away from family cause behavior problems?

I'm happy to revisit this.

Hailey, you say "isolating him from all his family." There's your DH, who is not fit at the moment (wishing him get well soon), and you, and who else?

You say "when I call the administrator" - which administrator is this? The one at the facility where he currently is?

If the court has not awarded guardianship to any person or organisation, in what circumstances did the court deem your BIL to be incompetent? What was the hearing about?

The thing is, where do you want your BIL to be placed and cared for? You need first to identify a facility that is able to meet his needs, then work with them to get him transferred. Any possible locations you can think of?

The home does not want to give up the money. If he is socializing he may settle in. This is a crazy disease, the person can do downhill very quickly and it has nothing to do with the facility. Why don't you go there and see for yourself?

Could he have had a psychosis caused by being hospitalized recently?

Can you call the Ombudsman number, posted in the facility?

Are you the nearest relative with an interest in his welfare? Were you able to attend the competency hearing? Can it be appealed?

Just putting this out there.....the OP has posted about this situation multiple times and received the same advice over and over......

Separation from the people he knows best *could* be one factor behind his challenging behaviours. The trouble is that a) it only could be, you can't really establish that as a fact; and b) that doesn't mean he wouldn't continue to show aggression to workers he didn't know even if the facility were right on your doorstep. You can't blame managers for being risk averse.

These memory care units you've shortlisted, how far did you get with the process? They took one look at his notes and spat out the form?

You'd need somebody with the right kind of authority and qualifications to advocate for him and demand a review. Your profile isn't set up for private messages, but if you're happy to share information about where you are and where he is we can see what we can find out, if you like.

I know it is a controversial topic and I don’t know what side you’re on.

Here in Louisiana, cameras in nursing homes are allowed and legal. There are certain stipulations such as, cameras can only be pointed at the resident whose family wants it and not a roommate, which is understandable. A picture is worth a thousand words! Are cameras allowed? Is this something you would consider? Just asking? Not recommending anything. It’s your choice.

Four hours away is tough.

I don't understand. You say "a court" has deemed him incompetent. That must mean that there is a court appointed guardian for him now? And that person, or as you say the court, have placed him. It is not always an option when dealing with government funding such as medicaid, to find easy placement near loved ones. I am assuming you have spoken to his guardian to see if there is possibility of placement closer. As to whether it is good having family more near, I think that family is great to have around because patients are often treated better, sadly, when family may "pop in" at any moment. As to the person himself, it depends on how the dementia affects them; for some, family is great, and others are made dissatisfied and restless with family visits. Nothing is ever just black and white with any of this.

worriedinCali

I do not have to have authority as long as it is for my BIL best interest. My husband is the nearest relative to my BIL. Therefore, that makes me the closest relative to him because my husband and I are as one. Thank you

Haily, has he been evaluated by a geriatric psychiatrist? Have psych meds been trialed?

Hi Haileybug! Who to contact depends on what kind of services are around in your BIL's location - where is he? Try Googling "mental health advocacy in [county] [state]" and see what pops up.