My sister threw a fit because she was not permitted to take a lot of my mother's things out of the house after mom went to Assisted Living. The attorney explained that anything that she wants to keep needs to be appraised and put in storage, and the value will be a deducted from her inheritance. My sister is refusing to speak to me and we need to do a clearing of the house. I am scheduling an appraiser next week. She has blocked me on her phone so I cannot even text her with the details. The longer this nonsense goes on the more it's going to cost us in attorneys fees. What do you suggest? I need to move forward with an estate sale. The house has been sitting unoccupied since October 2019.
(When my grandmother died we were all invited to attend her estate sale and bid on any keepsakes we wanted)
If you are acting in good faith and doing what needs to be done properly and legally it will hold up in court if it comes to that.
I would send her notification in writing Certified with confirmation of delivery, giving her the date and time the appraisal is going to take place.
If you move anything to storage document every item (might even be best if you took photos of everything going into storage.) If items are to be sold notify her of what is going to be sold and when and how. Again certified letters for all communication.
(and I would deduct excess attorney fees from her portion of the estate. But that is if there is anything left since the money raised will be used for mom's care)
Twisted sissies decided to put items into storage with the intent of getting it out, SOMETIME. That was four years ago now. Things finally out of storage last August. How much was spent on storage over that four years? More than $25,000.00! Four years later TS was claiming no value to any of the items!
Out of sight out of mind. Try to be reasonable and do as mom would do.
Distributing household items do not need to impact Medicaid eligibility only if they are appraised then sold for less than appraised value.. Imagine the Medicaid back up for applications if household items were to be scrutinized! You don't want to open up that Pandora's box.
The idea of deducting anything from an inheritance which is necessarily hypothetical seems a bit nebulous to me. Unless your mother is so very well off that not even medical and ALF bills can ever make a dent in her finances - but in that case, can the chattels matter so much?
What's the rush with the sale? I mean, I agree it's not good for houses to be unoccupied (things fall apart, waste of good tax money, etc.); and I can understand that you would very much like to get things tidied up; but if push comes to shove is there anything forcing the pace, such as your mother's needing the funds for her ALF?
Only it strikes me that a period of diplomatic silence from you while the attorney gently reminds sister of the responsibilities she accepted with dual POA, and your mother's best interests, and all that, might give her time to collect herself and start behaving. Can you afford to give her that space?
If you can't (or can't be bothered, which would be fair enough too), you could print the appraiser's appointment details on a piece of paper and post it to her. Put "in haste, with compliments" and your initials if you don't feel it should be as blank as that, but don't add another word.
You can't win, you see - if you're conciliatory, she'll either sneer or try to take advantage and then have another fit when she doesn't get it; if you're jolly or humorous, she'll think you're taking the mickey; and if you're business-like she'll accuse you of being insensitive and having no concept of sentimental value. So don't say anything.
I was toying with putting "FYI" - but DON'T. Sarcastic.
Type the envelope. Then she won't bin it unopened.
Or you could email the appraiser to - hem-hem - "confirm" the appointment and cc your sister in on it.
You should listen to your lawyer and get going on this. Do not let house sit vacant with valuables!!!!!!
The neighbors were dumping their trash on the property all that time and stealing anything not nailed down. I had to pay thousands to clean it up. She let the heat get shut off yrs ago. Ruined the floors, and beams in basement that held up house are crumbling. A house with no heat gets damp in about 3 days. So now its 8yrs. House is toast. Cant be fixed. All because she didnt feel like dealing with it. She stole valuables and left country.
Do not let this go on and clear your moms house. Your sister can be a part of the solution or she can go sulk. Let her. At least you can salvage your moms property. Dont let neighbors find out she is gone or they will break into the house. Get moving on this right away! Time is of the essence. The neighbors will start watching your comings and goings. Dont even trust a friendly neighbor!!!
Just ignore sibling and get moving. Or you will both have nothing left. She will come around when items needed to be sold off for moms care. Or you will take care of it. Get that house emptied ASAP!!!
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