Well, Dad has aways had an anger issue but now my husband has stared yelling me. This morning I was going to address them together but I awoke with a migrane. Dad is still trying to run a 200 acre ranch with little success. When I do give into him and help him with a repair, he yells at me and blames me for all that goes wrong. Now I noticed that my retired husband as started losing his temper with me over little things. I took the week off of work to work around the house but every time I asked my husband, he has yelled at me. I have spent more time with lately and tried to seperate myself from my fathers affairs only to find myself in a simular situation with my husband. What do have to do? Tell them both at the same time or seperate to stop taking their frustrations out on me?
Once you state the consequence, be prepared for them to Not listen and still yet at you. Are you able to carry out the consequence? Useless if you cannot. It's called setting boundaries. And just like children, they will test the boundaries you set. And not just children..even employees test to see how far they can do before they get reprimanded by their supervisors. People will always test the parameters/rules set....Hope it works out for you.
I heard a story once where a child said to the teacher, "Please don't yell at me. I don't yell at you!" That was one startled teacher!
Rather than a "discussion", I recommend saying, "The next time you blame me and yell at me, I'm going home. (or walking away for 5 minutes.) I don't like it when you yell, and I won't put up with it."
"You can yell as much as you want to. I'm just not going to stay here and listen to it!"
Then follow through. People, especially men, hate being lectured or explained to. Just "tell it like it is." Good luck. Some people do seem to yell a lot.
dad needs some tonka trucks and an ant farm or some young men or women employees to operate his menagerie. i wouldnt be interested in agriculture regardless of the profits.
I'll report later the resultsnof tonights meeting of the minds.
God bless. 409 Ranch
My advise to you if you haven't already is seek an Elder care Atty and make sure Dad's assets and medical wishes are in order. It will save you a lot of aggravation down the line.
Attack the symptoms without naming the disease.
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