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I usually ask him to put his feet under him and make an effort at standing up while I grab under both arms with my right foot planted between his feet. He is getting more sluggish and less helpful so pulling him up off the chair (he weighs almost twice as much as I do) is nearly breaking my back. I am afraid that this will be the cause to have to place him in extended care and have permanent damage to my spine. Any suggestions would be helpful.

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RonnieBray, Your wife's doctor can write a prescription for a hoyer lift. Medicare will pay for it. We got one in my house for my mom who is 92 and cannot walk at all, its a life saver. You might be able to get help a couple of times a week also. Check it out ok, good luck!
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FBG - Thank you for your excellent advice.

She has very little upper body strength, more's the pity. The strength of her remaining leg is, alas, also extremely weak and her knee is shot.

I do what I can to be safe and to keep Gay [my wife] safe. She is a precious angel. She is 78 and I will be 80 in January. Fortunately, I do enjoy fairly robust health, apart from psoriatic and osteoarthritis. I have a chunky [pyknic body type] build and was very strong when younger. I think that helps me. You are quite right, and we both are aware of the danger of my being injured and rendered unable to help her. That must, as you say, not happen.

I have promised her that she will not dies among strangers but I will look after her at home until the end. We have been married almost 16 years. Her late husband was a beast to her [and to others], but she put up with his vicious ways for the sake of their children.

Thank you for your excellent advice. :)
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Ronnie- if your wife has upper body strength could she possibly use that (with the proper assistive products) to reduce the strain on you? Whatever you need to do, please do it. Caregiver health is critical- I see this all the time- if the caregiver gets hurt it could be "game over" for everyone. Best wishes to you and your sweetheart!
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I had to call the Fire Brigade to lift my darling back onto the bed two nights ago after she slid onto the floor trying to get into her wheelchair herself. They could not have been kinder.

Bessie's advice is good if it works! If it doesn't, then is won't make things worse.

I am unable to lift my darling, even with a gait belt, but the firemen did it just fine.
I do have to bear her weight for her to go from the bed to the chair, but we are considering having her use the transfer slide boar again. With plenty of talc on it to stop skin friction, it makes it easier for both of us.

Life is a puzzle. The wise and the desperate figure it out.

Good luck, folks.

:)
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RCW6532 had the right idea. Our Ambulance and Fire Departments have what is called "Lift and Assist." If someone falls and can't get up they will come to the house and pick them up and put them where they need to be. They will also check them for any injuries before they pick them up. I had to call them on a few occasions when my husband fell and they were wonderful.
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"bessie6767" that is not good advice to give and should not be done in any event. What you do in your house is of course your business but again, that is not good advice and might get somebody hurt more then they were. Just telling you the truth
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You may have to call 911 if you are unable to safely pick him up and you know for a fact he is not hurt. At any facility for elders they are not allowed to pick him up. must call 911.
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If your loved one is totally disabled as my dad is...and he falls and can't assist you in getting up...you have to call the fire department or the police.
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Please make sure body check (especially hip or legg) before get him/her up. If they complained about having pains, you should get professional help.
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If he has fallen down get him on his knees, put your fingers in the belt hole in middle of back and pull. It makes it so easy, with him giving a little help he will be up
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I'm sorry I have to be negative, but you cannot possibly continue like that. I went through it with my husband, who is now in long-term care getting the help which only experienced health-care providers can give. If you become physically disabled, you will not be of any use to your husband or yourself.
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Yes, Caregiver99, I do know 'how it is', same scenario for me, same local distance of the kids, same shameful attitudes toward parent(s). Just saw this played out in a close friends world and the not unexpected results. Adult children in town, dad had to beg daughter (my friend) to fill in for him a few times over the years and that wasn't a clue? So, he dropped dead a short time ago and it was a shock to the adult children! Unlike so many of us caregivers, he asked for help but I think must have been made to feel it was an inconvenience to the kids and rarely asked. @99, I sure hope you can look into some outside help for the inside, so you can go outside and take a small break…yes, I know you are exhausted and wish someone would step in and make all those calls…maybe give the kids a chance to do so but if they don't, then ask them who will take care of their mother if you die while doing so. My heart goes out to you.
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I would like to become a CNA or caregiver. I've heard there our places that will give you on the job training. I am in Anniston Alabama. Thank you for any help!
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Caregiver99 -- Not all angels have wings. God bless you.
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Alpha3: I agree with you, my Mom will never go into a Nursing Home . There is no way a person can slide out of a hoyer sling if its under them from head to back of knees and hooked on correctly. The only time I had Mom on the floor is when I tried to lift her and she slowly slid to the floor. I took the hoyer sling and rolled it under her, hooked her up to the hoyer lift and it picked her right up.
If you go thru an aggitation stage with him, get him on medication , he will be happier and so will you. What do you think a nursing home does, they do the same only they over-medicate. You can also call the fire dept for a lift off the floor, they are glad to help. I do not know what bed ridden means to some people. I was told my Mom is bed ridden. Ya, she would be, but I hoyer her up into her wheelchair, recliner, 2nd recliner on porch and back into bed. No one has to be bedridden in my book, unless its the very end and they are comotose I suppose.
We have to live our lives with our loved ones, and man its hard! Hire help if you can, even just for a morning bathing after getting them up, its a huge help! We even take my Mom on our vacations with us, we have to, no one will take care of her, so we go and make the best of it. For someone who has severe dementia and is in her 90's non verbal, she has a smile on ear to ear when we go away. God Bless them, they cant help it and we're all going to be there .
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Apex over base - nose over toes. Both helpful, but not much use when the liftee is weak and unable to use their leg strength to rise. That's about when m,y wife is now. I lift with as straight a back as possible, and use my arthritic legs to hoist her up. Sometimes she can help and put a decent 60% into the lift, but at other times I have to do 100%.

I know that down the road she will ,be bedridden, and I will nurse her in bed, and see to all her needs.

We have every known aid known to man except actual hands. She has children living a few minutes away, but they have the notion that I am coping and so never offer to help.

You know how it, is: they have their own busy lives. :)
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Bellas, I like that: Wounded Warriors. Fits.
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Wow- 47 comments in two days! The comments focus on caregivers doing things better/smarter (but still it is only a matter of time before an injury), using a hoyer (with its complications), or ending in extended care. Please consider ways for a person to "help themselves" as much as their abilities allow- allows them to build strength and to reduce caregiver risk of injury. For example- good upper body strength may help overcome leg weakness. Money spent on any assistive products is dirt cheap compared to the costs of extended care or a serious injury. Most people have no idea that there are products available to help them and their loved ones to reduce risk of an eventual injury. I attend many tradeshows and would be glad to offer suggestions.
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A good variety of answers but the unknown element is why her husband cannot transfer on his own. My husband has FTD and CBD which I didn't know when all the changes in his ability to walk, stand, transfer were disappearing. If your husband is limited by only physical disabilities, the advice others have given are great. In fact, I laughed at the YouTube suggestions because I have told others "Everything I learned about caregiving, I learned on YouTube" and that included changing diapers for someone who is dead weight in bed. Here is the critical part of the issue to consider, if your husband has any of the many types of decreasing mental capacity, then, as happened to me, the 'great transfer' system I had been using, was suddenly met by a totally noncompliant husband who railed against me when I was doing the usual lift. Because of his dz, he has been in a carefacility now for a year and due to my years taking care of him…my back is trashed and in pain daily. Just thought I should point out this hidden gem in the wounded warriors world of the caregiver.
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RCW6532, I disagree. My husband will be 81 in August, I am 70. He weighs 220 lbs at 5'3", I am 165 lbs and 5'6". He suffers from numerous health problems including osteoarthritis and stroke related vascular dementia. I have no health issues except for the worsening aching back when I need to lift him off the chair. A lift chair may be a good solution. He can stand and walk with a walker. A Hoyer unit may be somewhat premature for our situation and seems to be too clumsy and big for our little bedroom, so I will rely on the helpful lifting advice given here in this forum. With a bit more exercise to strengthen my back I hope to be able to look after him for a few more years. My major concern is that he stays alive and as well as possible. Residential care is the last option - I equate that to personal defeat.
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Very popular posting and lots of good ideas! FYI- if you poke around this website for the various topics (like "mobility and falls" or bedroom, bathroom items) you can find lots of good articles and great info on the many forum discussions with similiar themed postings. Good luck!
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I know you don't want to hear this but it sounds like you are at the stage where you are no longer able to take care of your husband. Lifting someone that can't help themselves is an extremely difficult thing to do and one of the many reasons a person has to go into residential care. Sounds like there is no way you can do it multiple times a day or even once. A Hoyer lift is an option but I believe it would also be difficult for you and not a safe option for you to do alone. Good luck and look into all of your options as with anything else
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I'm sure many of the suggestions such as lifts, etc, will help. I have one more simple one that can help any of us who still have the ability to stand at all. My mother, a previous exercise teacher and dancer, herself taught me and all her friends this technique to stand from a sitting position. It's really useful for anyone, especially trying to get out of a car! 1) You come as close to the edge of the seat as you can, getting your center of gravity under you. 2) Put your head down toward your knees 3) Lift your rear end up and shift your weight to your legs. 4) Use your legs to lift yourself up. Of course, when it is someone you are helping to rise, you tell them, "Head down, Rear end up!" And you can help as they lift themselves as possible. Hope it helps.
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Ask doctor to prescribe a Hoyer lift device. It's like an engine hoist...very sturdy and helpful...on wheels too!!! You will compress vertebrae if you do it with just your own strength. Trust me, the last thing you want to hear is the crunch of your own spine! Hope this helps! Susan
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That he weighs twice of you, and you are closer to his age?
Means no amount of body mechanics is going to save your back.
You either need equipment, or, more helpers, or, move him to a care facility.

Check your location to see if there are any medical equipment banks.
Check with your local or nearby hospitals.

Check with his Doc's office, ask about equipment, ask about getting a home-assessment of what's needed.

Sometimes Salvation Army, unless you can afford to buy new.

Check with medical supply places that deal in equipment.
But do not buy right away--shop around!
What one company says is the newest and greets, is not necessarily what might do best for you.
They often have personnel to come to your home, assess the situation, then recommend what might help best.

One difficulty with most lift equipment: it takes up so much room--if your house lacks ADA doors and floor-space, many of those lifts simply won't fit.
Might be better to seek furniture replacements that have lift-mechanisms in them.
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The lifts with my husband sliding to the floor are no longer. Now I have a battery run electric lift that I got from the VA. Also got an electric hospital bed with an alternating air pressure mattress overlay to help prevent bedsores/blood clots. He has now progressed to where he can barely hold his head up when sitting and spends about 16 hrs a day in bed. I did injure a shoulder and my lower back some and had to have PT, but all better now.
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This could happen to you, if it already hasn't. This is for you when the lift to a chair or bed doesn't work out, he has slid to the floor, and no matter what you do you just can't get him up again. Calls to usual helpers go unanswered and here you are with a husband peacefully lying on the floor, rolled onto a blanket with a pillow under his head and you're crying in frustration. Been there, done that.
Buy an air mattress before you get into that situation. My light bulb went off in my head after about the second time this happened. I got out the queen-sized guest air mattress, placed it on a sheet, rolled him onto the mattress, dragged it using the sheet to an area where there was room to inflate, and presto! he was on a comfy bed for the remainder of the night. I later on found that our air mattress was about the same height as our sofa and I could roll him from the mattress to the sofa, get him into an upright position and start all over again with the lift to his wheelchair. Once I was so tired from the effort we just both camped out on the air mattress and got help the next morning. I could write a whole book on the humorous episodes of caregiving which at the time weren't so humorous.
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PS I had a lift chair for a while, before the hoyer, then I sold it. I got it at Sam's Club online for a good deal. Amazon has gait belts but I never found them to work for me. I now use it as a belt to keep Mom in her wheelchair because the wheelchair belt is too small for her large belly.
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Hello there, I have a hoyer lift for my Mom and its my best friend. I even decorated it with swimming noodles so it doesnt look so industrial. They are pretty small once lowered ad not a problem at all. No one taught me how to use it, the company that brought it said they could only give me the manual. Medicare pays for it with a doctors note. I got an electric one medicare paid for because the doctor wrote the caregiver needs it, but, I unfortunately had to send it back. The electric hoyer wouldnt strattle my Moms recliner and she sits in that daily. I got a manual and its fine. My Mom slowly stopped walking also and we pushed the walking to the limit but her brain isnt telling her legs what to do, yet they are very strong! Dont be afraid of a hoyer, they are fabulous and everyone thought my Mom would be afraid, not at all ! Its relaxing to be lowered into a chair and bed with it. You dont want to be lifting because you could both fall, this happened to a friend of mine I met who was taking care of her Mom. They fell onto the bed and her Mom broke her neck, scary! I do lift my Mom onto the toilet to bathe her every day. You tell them 2-3 times what you are doing, give them a bear hug with one of your legs between theirs, and lift straight up. Then, pivot and sit them. Dont try and lift and turn at the same time if you know what I mean. I can help you more if you get one, or even send you a video if you need it. Be careful, my Moms been in my home now over 6 years, its a long haul with dementia, but I wouldnt have her any place else. Good luck!
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Blueeye....was wondering what brand name of that chair is. I didn't know some ran on batteries, if power went.
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