How to get fluids for dying mom when the hospital won't take her and hospice doesn't give them?

OKay, the Catholic Church says no such thing about leaving someone without fluids. How do I know this with absolute certainty?
My dad passed away in a Catholic hospice, which is one of the best in NYC. They are aware that during the dying process fluids are no longer necessary and though, they did support him with IV for a while, when he was close to death, they stopped. I am sorry to say, but your mom may be in the dying process. May you find comfort in memories, may her transition be pain free and peaceful. Sending sympathy and hugs during a difficult time.

Thank you for all your answers. They are very welcome as my mom is in the process of dying and after really looking into it, what we were told long ago by a priest was no longer relevant (or maybe never was and we got the wrong information). Mom seems happy and peaceful and is being looked after by the people at the home where she lives, gently and respectfully as they have done so many times for others. If she winds up having to go to a nursing home before she dies, we will call in hospice.

Hospice only stops fluids when the person is actively dying. First sign is person can no longer swallow. The stomach stops digesting food. The person is no longer thirsty or hungry.

I suggest that you call her PCP and have an order written up for Hospice. They will come in and evaluate Mom. Please have someone there with you. 4 ears are better than two. What you don't pick up they may. And listen because people misinterpret Hospice a lot.

Hospice is end of life. They do not kill people, their job is to make the patient comfortable. Yes Morphine is used for this purpose. Besides helping with pain, it helps with breathing. The patient is never given enough to overdose them.

According to your post she is eating and drinking but barely.

When a person is dying they will naturally stop wanting food and water.

Forcing her to eat or drink can be painful for her because her body is shutting down. Her kidney are shutting down forcing fluids her body can't process would be torture for your mother. As would dialysis.

She is not asking for water or food and being refused either.

I think you are misinterpreting your religious teachings.

Please consider hospice for your mother. It is true that when a body is coming to to the end of life, food and fluid are no longer needed.
See if you can meet directly with a hospice outreach team member (ask for a nurse, if possible, as your questions are ones that nurses tend to have most knowledge) and listen to their answers to your concerns.
Your mom may very well be slowly transitioning toward end of life already. That is the gentle slowing and shutting down of the body's functions. At some point this can become a faster process - active transitioning - and hospice can provide great help with any changes in this stage, which may include signs of distress.
I think of it as the body and the spirit take a long time to 'come apart' at the end of life, with the spirit returning to wherever it is before we are born. (Also raised Catholic, former hospice nurse.) Hoping for comfort for you and your mom

Giving fluids when the body cannot handle fluids is cruel. The Catholic Church is not a doctor. If it were understood that the giving of fluids would cause your Mom to pretty much blow up like a balloon full of fluid and cause her lungs to fill with fluid I doubt there would be any insistence on giving fluids. The church is there to handle your Mom's spiritual needs. The doctors are there to handle her physical needs. Allow each specialty to remain in their own corral.
I very much hope that Mom now has Hospice as she makes her final exit from this life. She deserves comfort as she goes toward her peace and her eternal life according to your and her beliefs.

To feed or to give fluids to a person when they are dying can cause more pain and discomfort.
The body does not know how to process the food and it it "busy" keeping the heart beating, lungs working and brain functioning.
Fluids may be aspirated causing more problems.
Fluids may also travel to layers between muscle and skin causing skin to swell and split.
Offer a moist swab dipped in water to moisten the mouth. Run the swab over the lips, tongue. Do not give ice chips, just the moist swab.
I am sorry you are going through this and so sorry that Hospice has not explained the reasoning behind the reasons for not giving fluids.

Prayers for your dear sweet mother & all of your family! Such a difficult time! I wanted to make a mention you may be incorrect about what the Catholic Church teaches in regards to end of life for a “non-dying person” vs. a “dying” person. Your dear mother seems to be the latter & is at end stage of life from renal insufficiency no matter if she’s given hydration & nutrition. I believe in this case, the Church recognizes that artificial hydration and/or nutrition should not be pursued when it is not able to “accomplish its proper finality.” When the dying process cannot be reversed with nutrition or hydration or is too burdensome for the person. Things can get confusing with difficult cases in our quest to preserve life at all stages. I know our Catholic faith is misunderstood at times but rules are in place to preserve life in general. God has your Mother in the palm of his hand, & knows you are doing your best for her. Hospice in for comfort care is wonderful & you should not worry. Consult with your Pastor if you are concerned, review the Catechism, & I know your discernment in the matter will be divinely sent to you. Giving her love, all of your goodness, & praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet over her will bring peace to her & graces to you beautiful person. Peace of Christ be with you!

Dear Vacayassist, So, sorry your mother is dying. I worked for decades in a hospital and discussed this issue with hospice staff many times. My own dearly loved mother-in-law and mother both went through this.

Yes, do offer your mother fluids as you desire. However, in the last stages of dying the need to eat and drink diminishes. This is not painful for them. Providing food and nutrition will not reverse the dying and hospice research now knows that using artificial means to hydrate and feed can cause harm. The need for fluids is tied into the amount of calories consumed. With the lack of appetite and almost no food eaten (part of the dying process), your mother needs very little fluid. So yes comfort her. Moisten her mouth and give her sips as the nursing staff show you how. Talk to her and tell her you love her. May you find comfort at this time.

If she's dying Hospice should be called in. I am confused as to why this hasn't been done already. I believe you are misinterpreting the Catholic Church. I would call the priest at your mom’s church and talk to him about it. Also, if someone is dying they aren't going to want food or water. You can offer but more than likely they won't want it. They are are going through a natural process.