Hi,
I became POA for my dad in July after a medical emergency, and then he has been in my care since September as he can no longer live independently. I bought siblings, my kids and all other grandkids Christmas gifts (as my parents have always done) in December at Dad’s direction, with his credit card, and my son’s birthday present, again at Dad’s direction, in March. Because of Medicaid look back , I can’t actually give anyone gifts even if he is wanting me to and I have gifting power as POA, right? I was thrown into this POA at the time, and didn’t realize all the different implications, but do I need to go back and figure all this out and pay it back (probably $1500 total)? Obviously I won’t do it anymore!!
And he has always, for years, taken us out to dinner once a month; since COVID and him becoming bedbound, it’s been me picking up carryout once a month, but he can’t do that either, right? I can’t use his money for anything that’s not solely for his personal benefit because of Medicaid? I’m not upset I just want to make sure from here on out I’m doing this right! Thank you!
Assets in: March 2020
Social Security xxx.xx
Pension xxx.xx
Assets out: March 2020
Rental xxx.xx
Christmas present xx.xx
Food xx.xx
Repair tub xx.xx
And this goes in a folder. Nothing fancy. Just keeping paying as John Doe by Christine Doe as POA on checks, and accounts kept clean and separate.
No big payments, ie for college, down payments on phones and so on. Those are gifting and will count against him for medicaid.
If you don't understand your duties as POA it is CRUCIAL that you learn them. Go to an Elder Law Attorney if you must (Your Dad's estate pays for that as well). Or get books and plumb the internet.
I knew nothing when I started doing this for my bro. I learned FAST.
You cannot use his credit card for purchases with POA documents. You need to become an authorized user on his account and have an additional card sent in your name, POA.
My parents gave $144,000.00 to my sister and I am the POA who had to discover this through applying for Medicaid. Wow. The penalty was so big, my mother didn't outlive it!
If you have POA for financial - you can conduct all financial business in his name. Gifting is not the problem with having POA. You have been doing what he haw always done financially. In that sense, you have not "screwed up" or done anything wrong.
Medicaid is a separate issue. Medicaid has different rules about how anybody spends his or her money. I suggest you contact Medicaid or a lawyer or CPA to get the rules on finances. You probably do not have to "pay back" the money but you will probably need to better understand what qualifies.
Praying you get some peace and continue helping your dad in this way.
Do some research in your or your father's state regarding duties of POA. Make sure to keep yours and your father's money separate. Your main duty is to act in your father's best interest.
Also know as long as he is competent he can make his own decision, can revoke and reappoint agents to act for him. When I became my parents' POA I would talk over decisions with them and told them I would continue to do so as long as they were able to make decisions. My POA is durable and covers both medical and financial. Before she was fully vaccinated I asked my mother what her wishes were if she were to get COVID and need a ventilator - she said she'd have to think about it. Luckily she never got COVID and if she gave me her decision, I would have followed it - if she hadn't given me an answer I would have made the decision on my own after consulting the doctors.
If you have siblings I wouldn't exclude them but remember you are charged with acting for your father. If my brother was more available and less emotional, I would ask his opinion, but it isn't to be in my case. That doesn't mean I don't keep him informed of what major events happen.
Don't freak out, breathe and research. You'll be fine.
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