Hi,
I became POA for my dad in July after a medical emergency, and then he has been in my care since September as he can no longer live independently. I bought siblings, my kids and all other grandkids Christmas gifts (as my parents have always done) in December at Dad’s direction, with his credit card, and my son’s birthday present, again at Dad’s direction, in March. Because of Medicaid look back , I can’t actually give anyone gifts even if he is wanting me to and I have gifting power as POA, right? I was thrown into this POA at the time, and didn’t realize all the different implications, but do I need to go back and figure all this out and pay it back (probably $1500 total)? Obviously I won’t do it anymore!!
And he has always, for years, taken us out to dinner once a month; since COVID and him becoming bedbound, it’s been me picking up carryout once a month, but he can’t do that either, right? I can’t use his money for anything that’s not solely for his personal benefit because of Medicaid? I’m not upset I just want to make sure from here on out I’m doing this right! Thank you!
Also, the PoA role is in effect when the assignee is incapacitated (and the document will state whether it's durable or springing). But you were within your bounds in this event since your dad gave his permission and you don't say he is actually incapacitated.
My MIL is in LTC and she has us purchase small gifts for her grandkids and great-grand kids, like $20 here and there. She's been on Medicaid since 2016 and it's never been an issue.
Assets in: March 2020
Social Security xxx.xx
Pension xxx.xx
Assets out: March 2020
Rental xxx.xx
Christmas present xx.xx
Food xx.xx
Repair tub xx.xx
And this goes in a folder. Nothing fancy. Just keeping paying as John Doe by Christine Doe as POA on checks, and accounts kept clean and separate.
No big payments, ie for college, down payments on phones and so on. Those are gifting and will count against him for medicaid.
If you don't understand your duties as POA it is CRUCIAL that you learn them. Go to an Elder Law Attorney if you must (Your Dad's estate pays for that as well). Or get books and plumb the internet.
I knew nothing when I started doing this for my bro. I learned FAST.
Being POA is a big challenge and one must be responsible. Buying items he needs, like medication, medical devices, or even the briefs are fine. They are necessities. BUT, the whole idea is you are being charged to handle his finances as if you WERE him, within reason. Obviously if he asked you to go out and buy a boat, that wouldn't be a responsible thing to do! Knowing he liked to give gifts, etc means you were not only doing what he used to do, but what he requested you to do. Just keep the spending to a minimum. He will need his assets for some time to come.
Unless someone from Medicaid or an EC atty suggests it all be paid back, I would not do that. The WORST case would be his assets would have to cover that $1500 of facility care before Medicaid kicks in. They won't deny him coverage for that, just delays it.
For instance, if he DID buy a boat, say for $20,000, then he would have to cover the first $20k of facility care before they would start paying. They don't ask for it to be paid back.
Just keep good records going forward.
BTW, he's likely getting SS. Legally SS requires that anyone who handles the SS funds of another needs to apply to be Rep Payee. A call to your local office can set up an appointment - likely will be a phone appointment. Even if they are open, your dad does NOT have to be there. They ask questions, fill in the request and send it off. It may take a few weeks to get approved. It isn't a big deal. You do need to keep good records as they require yearly reporting. The report isn't much, a page or so sent in the mail, but it can be done online through your own SS acct. The first check, once approved, will come as a check. Then you'd have to set up a special Rep Payee account, which only you can access. Once that is ready, you call the local office again and require electronic payment, giving them the bank information.
You cannot use his credit card for purchases with POA documents. You need to become an authorized user on his account and have an additional card sent in your name, POA.
https://www.medicaid.gov/medicaid/eligibility/estate-recovery/index.html
To make matters worse, Medicaid has variations with each state.
My parents gave $144,000.00 to my sister and I am the POA who had to discover this through applying for Medicaid. Wow. The penalty was so big, my mother didn't outlive it!
If you have POA for financial - you can conduct all financial business in his name. Gifting is not the problem with having POA. You have been doing what he haw always done financially. In that sense, you have not "screwed up" or done anything wrong.
Medicaid is a separate issue. Medicaid has different rules about how anybody spends his or her money. I suggest you contact Medicaid or a lawyer or CPA to get the rules on finances. You probably do not have to "pay back" the money but you will probably need to better understand what qualifies.
Praying you get some peace and continue helping your dad in this way.
The Medicaid issue is different and is aimed at making sure that families don't drain their parents' bank accounts and then claim support on the grounds of impoverishment, which I think we can all agree is fair enough! - only then what happens to comparatively normal, ordinary personal spending which would normally and ordinarily include getting your toddler grandchild a birthday present, for example? You can check the fine detail for your state online: it is always best to err on the safe side, but you might be pleasantly surprised at what is and isn't allowed.
I would think small gifts under $25 for a present would be fine but My Dad is 96 and I have had to hire 24 7 Care so he could stay in his own home like he wants and he will be out of money in another year so last year I announced to all that Dad won't be giving out any gifts to anyone as he needs all his money for his care.
Do some research in your or your father's state regarding duties of POA. Make sure to keep yours and your father's money separate. Your main duty is to act in your father's best interest.
Also know as long as he is competent he can make his own decision, can revoke and reappoint agents to act for him. When I became my parents' POA I would talk over decisions with them and told them I would continue to do so as long as they were able to make decisions. My POA is durable and covers both medical and financial. Before she was fully vaccinated I asked my mother what her wishes were if she were to get COVID and need a ventilator - she said she'd have to think about it. Luckily she never got COVID and if she gave me her decision, I would have followed it - if she hadn't given me an answer I would have made the decision on my own after consulting the doctors.
If you have siblings I wouldn't exclude them but remember you are charged with acting for your father. If my brother was more available and less emotional, I would ask his opinion, but it isn't to be in my case. That doesn't mean I don't keep him informed of what major events happen.
Don't freak out, breathe and research. You'll be fine.
Keep and make copies of any receipts for things you have purchased with his money. Your dad sounds like mine was. Generous and loving. Good luck! A Supplemental Needs Trust costs around $2000.00.
Make an appointment with the attorney and ask the questions you have. I was POA for my Mother and if she requested I get something for her or as a gift for one of her grandchildren that was perfectly OK. As I always made sure the gifts were from her not me. And if the request was one that spent money she could not afford, I would let her know exactly that. It only happened one time and she was not happy.
However, with dementia and all she could still understand that the funds she had were for her care. I offered to help her get and send cards or notes, so she could express she remembered people. Even that eventually stopped as her memory got worse and worse.
If your Dad's funds are such that it may become necessary to get Medicaid, then start now with helping Dad understand that his funds need to be spent only on him. Perhaps finding different ways for him to remember his grandchildren can be found.
lt is also important for the kids and extended family understand that Dad cannot afford to keep giving gifts. Good luck and God Bless, it is not an easy job.