Mom says I blow things out of proportion and have 'all or nothing' ways of seeing things. This may be true, so I'l like to have some feedback, please. I assume people shower daily, or day and a half. She's a couple of years past a stroke and says it's "such a production" and causes power struggles. If I leave her alone, she has let it go for a week. We have limited remodel options, but I'm still working on it. For now, she holds handlebars, steps over a tub (!), has a shower chair and a long shower head on a hose if she wants it (but can't figure out out to change from top to bottom shower head). So, she's right. It is a production. What's a good number to do battle over? Is once a week considered poor care? We are currently arguing over 3x/wk. I assume skin health is a factor.
When my dad was in a NH , they said 2x pr week was required by our state.
When my mother was growing up everybody in the household got a bath once a week, several of them sharing the same water. And these were active farm folks who actually got dirty! No wonder that generation thinks our insistence on frequent bathing is nuts. Unless they are incontinent, I think a shower or bath a week can be adequate.
A walkin tub has made taking a bath a pleasure for my husband. It is a substantial investment, though, so I don't think it is a solution for everyone.
From what I hear in caregiver meetings, many folks with dementia have a real hard time with water coming at them and showers are difficult. Maybe directly the shower so it doesn't spray them directly but allows you to wet a cloth for washing and rinsing would help, if the loved one has dementia.
Every other day fill the tub 1/2 way with warm water and bubble beads, help her sit in, and hand her a luffa if she can bathe on her own. Sometimes we want to be pampered and treated to a 5 star, regenerating Hollywood experience. Sometimes we don't want to be bothered and prefer warm water, soap, and a plain rag.
If the problem persists, give her the whole speech about the importance of good hygiene to prevent infections / illnesses and the embarrassment of smelling a little less than fresh.
Good luck.