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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You are absolutely doing the right thing. I firmly believe everyone should pay their own way, and if you were not there chances are your mother would have to pay someone else far more than she is paying you. Just make sure that you set it up with a proper contract so that the money counts as pay and not a gift if your mom ever needs to apply for government assistance. You should also have a frank discussion about how much personal care you are willing or able to handle and what your plans are when you reach your limits.
I understand how you feel. I've struggled with the same feelings, but if you ask yourself - "would you expect your children to take care of you without compensation"? I think you'll come to the same conclusion I have and that it's perfectly fine to ask, especially if your parent has not offered. I know if my kids were doing for me what I do for my mom . . . If I had the resources I would be offering a generous monthly payment and be very grateful. So, don't feel guilty for asking. You deserve it.
if you are doing everything for your mother...she should turn over her whole ssi check!! it's the hardest job you will ever have! or...put her in a convalescent home and she can pay $7 thou a month! good luck...take the money!
I recently had to take my mother into our home. We went to see an Elder Attorney together. One of the first things this attorney said to me is that I was due compensation. This is your legal right and there is nothing at all wrong with it. Keep records of everything.
We set up Payroll for my wages ~ I am a W2 hourly employee and we have a caregiver contract that outlines duties I will preform. I save all receipts ~ I do have a credit card for my mother that i use for her specific purchases ; ie groceries, clothing, prescriptions. I track my daily activities for her via a chart and track mileage....This all came from our attorney as the best way to handle.
I think setting up a "contract" with what is expected of you and of her is the way to go. You can outline what you can and can not do. She can tell you what she expects of you. What you can not agree on you must get "outside" help to come in and do what you can't do. You must also draw the line at the point where you can not care for her any longer. She will know that that is the point where you begin to talk about placement in Assisted or Memory Care or get "outside" help in 24/7 for her safety as well as yours. Just as a facility will charge more for the more work they have to do you could also write that into the contract. You are lucky that this can be done, I was caring for my husband and a spouse can not get paid for the care that they do. And do not think that placing her in a facility when and if the time comes is a failure on your part. It will be in the contract that you have both agreed to from the start.
I'm now 62, in Ohio, and I took care of my mom at home for the years 2015 and 2016 with a simple homecare contract set up by mom's eldercare lawyer for $12/hr, 40 hours per week (the lawyer charged me $1000 for this). Mom could well afford to pay, plus I had lost my job, so this worked out for both parties very well. I've certainly been grateful for the arrangement, never felt guilty or bad about it. Long story short, I'd paid in my estimated taxes as per usual (always have them done at the same place) for that first year but was told by the tax preparer that I should NOT have paid and was actually reimbursed (I protested this, still scared to death Uncle Sam will come after me, and I have returned that money to my savings just in case). I'm expecting to be able to do the same for the second year. I discontinued the homecare contract as we placed mom in memory care in January 2017 (she was hospitalized with pneumonia, has worsened generally but is fine at this point, and memory care is working out very well). I will be managing now on social security and my pension but am holding my breath on the tax thing for 2016. I will be having our taxes done in March and am sure hoping the rules have stayed the same for me for that second year. Will know soon.
Seems like a lot of people are stating they have been set up as employees of the person they are providing care for. This is unnecessary. Check out the tax info on IRS.gov. Caregivers of family members are self employed and should receive a 1099 to report income to IRS, but in MOST cases, if they do not provide care as a career to anyone else, the income is not taxed. Like I said, refer to IRS.gov for Caregiver info AND consult an attorney. Even logically speaking, why should you be taxed for a service you are providing for a family member that most likely keeps them out of the social services bureaucracy?
There are plenty of stories of people that got reamed after long and difficult periods of care giving. I didn't accept money and my own home and belongings were neglected for quite a while. While I never expected to capitalize or profit from my efforts, I sure never thought I would experience the hatred and accusations from siblings wanting their share the day Dad passed and every day since then. When the final accounting is done, and it is proven out that I didn't accept one penny, or spend one penny of his money on me, I will sever any contact with those people. Negotiate a wage and take the money!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You can outline what you can and can not do.
She can tell you what she expects of you.
What you can not agree on you must get "outside" help to come in and do what you can't do.
You must also draw the line at the point where you can not care for her any longer. She will know that that is the point where you begin to talk about placement in Assisted or Memory Care or get "outside" help in 24/7 for her safety as well as yours.
Just as a facility will charge more for the more work they have to do you could also write that into the contract.
You are lucky that this can be done, I was caring for my husband and a spouse can not get paid for the care that they do.
And do not think that placing her in a facility when and if the time comes is a failure on your part. It will be in the contract that you have both agreed to from the start.
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