We do have the option of her coming to live with me in Tennessee, however she has lived most of her 90 years in California. I am the only family member that does not live close to the assisted living facility.
The hard part is over.
I'm matching you with one of our specialists who will be calling you in the next few minutes.
Keep tabs on her though. You are right to watch carefully.
But I have seen many -- most -- of the caregivers in my support group have to face the fact that they could no longer care for their spouse in their home. It was a wrenching decision but they made it in love. I am NOT a better person than any of them nor did/do any of them love their spouse less than I did. They were simply dealt a different hand.
My 93-yo mother has dementia. She is in a nursing home. I am absolutely amazed and how well she is doing there! I think I can say that objectively without "assuaging" any guilt, because I do not feel any guilt.
I send you warm hugs, Willows, as you deal with your spouse's dementia. I know how heartbreaking that can be. But along with Linda22 (and I expect many of our forum participants), I'm really tired of people judging without being in the other guy's shoes -- or even stubbornly insisting that one shoe size fits all.
I hope you are able to fulfill your own commitment. Please don't judge others.
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