When my mom died under Hospice care, the nurse came out and declared/called it, so I could then contact the cremation service. Since my mom's death last December, my dad's health is declining fast. He isn't in Hospice care and I don't know who I'd call if he gets his wish and dies at home in his sleep. Seems like calling 911, with all the folks they send out, isn't warranted if he's already gone. As an aside, he does have a DNR. Even with Google, I can't figure it out. Please advise and thanks.
Thanks to all of your great advice, I signed my dad up for Hospice today.
I appreciate the benefit of your collective wisdom, and the time you took to share it with me. Grateful and humbled,
R27
DOC'S phone number, your phone number, No reason for anyone needing to dig around for it.. It's on the wall.
GET HOSPICE ON BOARD, THERE IS NO REASON NOT TO. THEY WILL EVALUATE HIM AFTER 30 DAYS, BUT USUALLY THEY WILL FIND A GOOD REASON TO KEEP HIM ON HOSPICE... HECK MY MOM GRADUATED OUT OF HOSPICE 2 TIMES, THE THIRD TIME SHE DID GO "HOME". I miss her dearly.. :(
So, talk to his doctor and have him evaluated for palliative care and/or hospice. He can still be living at home while on hospice.. they just need to know your needs...
It will work out for you and dad.
In addition to the DNR, fill out a POLST form and have it next to his bed. It's kind of the "DNR and I'm not kidding" form. I think they're more universally recognized by emergency personnel (it's all about the wording), and both the nursing homes my mom's been in have required them.
You can download one, and they recommend you print it on bright-colored paper and keep it on the bedside table so it's easily seen.
you may want to have hospice just for yourself to not fall under criminal investigation.
talk to his doctor and insurance... call armstrong cremations, and get him set up with them if you are in the area, otherwise they will tell you who to call.
Given what everyone has said about avoiding the hoopla involved with an at home death, I would definitely look into it and sign up if possible! My mother is in a MC facility. Don't know what they do, but it won't impact me (no fire, emt, police, ambulance at my house!)
My gram died in the car on her way to a doctor's appointment. My mom drove her to her doctor. The doctor said, "Yes, she passed." Mom had to take Gram to a hospital to get a death certificate completed and store the body until the funeral service could arrive.
When my father-in-law passed, only a deputy came out & then the funeral home was contacted ( it was the middle of the night) & they sent a couple of people to get the body. When my good friend passed, dispatch sent the EMTs ( in our area the firefighters are trained EMTs) & 2 deputies. One of the deputies called the morgue to come for her body.
In one of the larger cities I imagine it is still handled pretty much the same.
I can see how this is weighing heavily on your mind. I called up Council on Aging in my area to ask this very question. They informed me to call 911 and explain that my mother had died. They take care of it from there.
Many years my grandma died while visiting at my parent’s home. Her heart just gave out. Daddy called grandma’s doctor. An ambulance came and took her body to the morgue. Arrangements were then made for grandma’s wake, funeral Mass and burial.
I hope he remains not in pain, but hospice handles much more than pain meds so I would implement that to assist you and him... in my opinion.
You have total control on the treatment plan while on hospice. I just could not take mom to the doctor anymore so this is how I dealt with this, even though old age and Alzheimer's are terminal conditions.
Hospice as in home clinic, love it!
My grandma died at home, alone, NOT on Hospice and when my uncle found her, he simply called her dr. He came out, pronounced her gone and called the mortuary. She had recently had hip surgery and was not doing well.
We've had deaths in our neighborhood and having the whole fire dept along with the police come--it's awful. Kind of terrifying for little kids who witness all this...Hospice does things so gently IMHO, just having them on board, even if they are NOT providing day to day care, would be a boon to you. Takes away that possible drama.
Dad's hospice team was catered to HIS needs, toward the end they did provide a lot of support, Your dad could easily go from not needing much help to being very needy in a few days. I'd look in to it, just checking it out cannot hurt.
Medicare hospice status is granted after his MD determines that he likely has 6 months or less to live. That is a medical determination, not something a caregiver "decides." And hospice status can be renewed again and again.
When on Medicare hospice status, all medical support, including help with ADLs if needed, are 100% paid by Medicare. You and your dad will receive no bills. The hospice service determines what services the patient needs and then provides them. The service is seamless and very worthwhile (based on two cases in my immediate family.)
It's up to you and your dad to bring up hospice with his MD. That MD can explain what it means in his case. It sounds like, if your dad is "declining fast," hospice may be helpful to furnish some services, including nurse visits to the home, and they handle notification of the correct persons when a death occurs. For all these reasons, talk to the primary care MD about the advantages and disadvantages (seems like none in this case,) of Medicare hospice status.
Great post with lots of information. (2/5/20). You mentioned about M/care Hospice pays for all ADL's if needed. That is only if hospice is coming to the home, correct? My MIL is in a NH, and on private pay, we are working on Medicaid application with an attorney.
If she were moved back to a house, and stayed on Hospice, what type of care do you think she would get, paid for, if needs 24/7? She has Parkinsons, and can only eat pureed food now, and cannot do anything (transfer) without help, and also is incontinent.
Do you know if hospice would loan her a bed in the NH, just like they would at a house?
thank you
They could probably offer suggestions on how best to approach the situation, since they're familiar with your particular area.
None of my family died at home, so I have no recent experience in this aspect of caregiving.
This is a sad situation, having lost your mother so recently, and now facing your father's apparent imminently close passing as well.
I respect your attempt to honor his wishes; my father also planned to die at home, but his last illness was too intense for home care. I was fortunate to find a compassionate multi-level facility where he spent his last days, warm, cared for well beyond any level I could handle, even with the nominal assistance of hospice.
I still regret that I couldn't honor that last wish but I know in my heart that he couldn't possibly have gotten the care he got with a group of people trained to provide various levels of care. Had I kept him at home, I know that I would still be battling recriminations for not providing the level of care I thought best for him.
Still, this is his wish, and you're considerate to try to honor it.
The OPs dad is old and it doesn’t even sound like dad is interested in curative treatment at all. It sounds like palliative care is appropriate.